Wisconsinite arrested for loving up on a couch

Yeah, I can see this guy in the photo above, Gerald Streator, getting it on with a couch. He looks the part and being that he was caught in the act in Waukesha, Wisconsin I am leaning towards him being rather guilty of the act. I don't know what the laws are in Wisconsin but being that the couch is obviously unable of consenting to his sexual proposition, could he be facing rape charges? h/t

Sinking even deeper in to my bad music collection

There was obviously a time in the mid-1990s when I had a fondness for novelty CDs. That can be the only explanation for me owning a copy of "Turdy Point Buck" by Bananas at Large.

If you're unfamiliar with the song "Turdy Point Buck" then you're obviously not from the upper midwest - or more specifically Minnesota or Wisconsin. The title track, which I had the misfortune of listening to on my commute to my office today, is a tale about a deer hunter sitting in the woods during deer season when he sees and attempts to bag that ellusive thirty (pronounced "turdy") point buck.

For whatever reason, the song gained at least some regional popularity where I grew up (in the greater Rochester radio market - thanks alot KROC-FM). That, in turn, lead me to trudge through what was likely a snow-filled parking lot at Austin's Oak Park Mall and plop down $10.98 at On Cue for a CD that sported one novelty track that I was sadly familiar with and six more that I could give a shit less about.

The CD gave my friends and myself many laughs. I'm sure we sat in my car at lunch outside of the high school and listened to it. I'm sure a certain friend of mine - now a Sherriff's Deputy - prodded me in to playing it again and again because his twisted sense of humor secretly loved the song. I'm also sure that the novelty, just like many others, wore off after about a month.

I have only my old lady to thank for unearthing this blaze orange bastard this morning. She told me she didn't look at CD titles when this one was pulled from the rack but knew that it had to suck based on the color of the spine alone. Hey, at least after listening to it for one final time and reminding myself that I need to punch sixteen year-old me for pissing away money on shit, I can throw this on the spring garage sale. If you find yourself interested in a never-ending buffet of bad CDs, I'll post a link to the Craigslist ad for the sale in late April. Until then, always doubt your musical purchases or you too cold end up with something similar to this blaze orange mistake and find yourself, fourteen years later, listening to this decade's version of "Turdy Point Buck".

Until next time, busy yourself with the archives of MinnPics. I'm sure anything there is better than this week's bad CD.

Christmas cancelled due to snowmageddon

Click to make the snowfall map bigger but the snowphoon, snowmageddon, jesusblizzard, snownami, snownado, hohosnow or whatever else people are tagging it as on Twitter is apparently coming just in time to fuck up your Christmas plans from Wisconsin west through the Dakotas. Of particular interest is Minnesota because that's where I live and even though I have to travel the whopping sum of ten miles on Christmas day I still have to make it in to my office tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and do what amounts to a ton of shopping - even if the Target in Brainerd is out of milk.

Supposedly I'll be shoveling 15-20 inches out here in the southwest Twin Cities but, like every other forecasted storm, I'll believe it when I'm shoveling my driveway and die of a massive heart attack from heaving piles of heavy, wet snow over the already too-tall piles lining my driveway and sidewalks.

Call it stubbornness but I have no desire to own a snowblower. Those things are like the anti-snow - a lot like owning a snowmobile and unlike a snowblower, my snow shovel has never had any issues starting in cold weather. Owning a snowblower pretty much insures that it won't snow and while for plenty that would be pretty awesome I like to see snow falling. Hey, if it's going to be ass-freezing cold it might as well snow to complete the winter experience because it is Minnesota after all.

So when you're housebound for the next few days under a thick blanket of snow, check out the year-end retrospective at MinnPics. The best of the best of 2009 in photographs.

Insulting border states

I grew up literally within miles of the Iowa border but I've never lived outside of the state of Minnesota. Growing up, 44%* of all jokes had something degratory towards Iowans in the punchline. I gathered from those formidable years that Iowans were A) all Norwegians and B) extremely stupid and some eved fornicated with sheep.

As I grew up, I found myself still poking fun at Iowans. If someone stopped as they pulled off the freeway (Interstate 90) on to southbound U.S. Highway 218 - totally unaware that the turn lane formed a new lane on the U.S. highway - I would often times curse aloud that the person in front of me must be a "stupid Iowan jackass" even if their license plates said otherwise.

But then I moved to the Twin Cities. My rage towards Iowans came to an abrupt end. The cool thing, it seems, was to make Wisconsin the butt of your jokes. (To be fair, the only thing both states have going for them is liquor sales much more relaxed than Minnesota's) The only problem with jokes about Wisconsin is that I am a transplant to the area and, thusly, wasn't raised with an axe to grind against Wisconsin. I don't know the stereotypes (outside of their love of cheese, the Packers and deer hunting) of Wisconsinites and because of that I feel more than a little left out. It's like walking in to a costume party without a costume, you're gonna feel a bit awkward.

So the time has come that I either shelve my fake disdain of Sconnies or get on the bandwagon and learn the age-old jokes. After all, it seems like tradition and traditions are strong and I hope to one day be able to pass on my love of border state degradation to my daughter - and she'll hopefully be doubly blessed because I have my non-love towards Iowa down.

The only question I have is this: do residents of other states (if you live close to the border) practice the same degradation of your neighboring state? What do residents of northern Iowa say about us kind Minnesotans?

One safe haven from both Wisconsin and Iowa is MinnPics. No grudges shall be had in photography because this is one place where we know Minnesota is supreme.