Reader "NO" asks...
Which is your favorite: nipples or camel toe?
Wow, such a loaded question but nipples take this one by a longshot. Camel toe is a sign. It's sign your clothes are too tight. It's a sign you've been sweating a lot. Camel toe is a sign that you may be sorta skeevy.
Reader "spleeness" asks not one but SEVEN questions...
Anything? You sure? Well then:
1. Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Austin, MN (SPAMTown U.S.A. for you canned meat aficionados) and lived in and around there for 20 of my 29 years spent in Minnesota. No, I did not participate in sports and no it doesn't show from my apppearance.
2. What did you want to be when you "grew up" once upon a time? Are you doing that now? Are you happy with where you ended up or do you wish to do something different?
For some reason I wanted to be a farmer just like my parents. (Okay, my dad does the bulk of the "farming" while my mom
3. What do you notice first about the opposite sex?
I, like most guys, notice appearance first because men (and most women) are visual creatures. It's hard to say what I notice first visually but I'd have to say that it's what's in the trunk. From there my focus moves to the front and up. No, not those, the face. However, if the personality doesn't back up the goods, forget it. Many times, a personality can make up for quite a few physical "shortcomings".
4. What kind of car do you have?
I am such a
5. How often do you mow the lawn?
Assuming that this isn't a metaphor for grooming techniques, I get around to mowing the lawn about every seven days. This year, though, as it became drier with each passing day, I moved to mowing every ten-fourteen days and this last mowing cycle I only mowed the front yard and a patch under the towering Ash tree in the back yard. This all takes place with me sporting a lime green speedo and Columbia sandals as I push the Toro 'round the villa.
6. What would be your ideal kind of day? (From start to finish.)
9:00 AM I'd begin with some wake-up lovin' (you wanted honest) and after starting the day with a shower (I can't wake up without one) I'd suck down a hearty breakfast consisting of bacon, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes smothered in butter and blueberry syrup I'd move to the couch.
10:00 AM Laying down with the remote in hand and a glass of orange juice within reach I'd watch "The Price is Right" because it's good television.
11:15 AM Now it's time for some outside clothes because America frowns on pajamas. It's time for some disc golf (don't know what it is, Google it).
12:30 PM Sure, I had breakfast a mere three hours ago but my belly's a-rumbling for some Mexican food. It's feeling a Taco John's day.
1:15 PM Nap.
3:50 PM Another round of disc golf because it's all about what makes me happy.
5:00 PM Run home for some "afternoon delight" if you catch my drift.
6:45 PM wishful thinking
5:45 PM Hooray, pie. For supper! And it's pumpkin... MY FAVORITE. I'll wash it down with a couple bottles of Leinie's Summer Shandy that I stocked up on.
8:00 PM (don't ask questions, I love pie) It's time for some highbrow television. Futurama is on Comedy Central.
8:35 PM Nap.
9:05 PM Mmmm, wake-up beer.
9:20 PM Off to the back yard to light a bonfire. And what goes better with fire than beer?
10:50 PM Climb a tree for no other reason that to climb it.
10:51 PM Fall out of tree.
10:53 PM Climb it again and yell at it "for being lazy and leany"
11:35 PM Challenge a friend 140lbs. heavier than myself to a wrestling match.
11:36 PM Lose wrestling match.
12:40 PM Snap photos. Many will be inappropriate in nature.
1:05 AM Threaten to jam a molten poker in the orifice of a friend.
1:50 AM Bedtime. Lovin'. Sleep.
A perfect (and partially real) day.
7. Do you have any pets?
One good cat and one evil cat. The good one is fluffy and orange. The evil one is grey and has bladder issues.
And an anonymous reader asks...
I hesitate a little ask this.... But, can we ha[v]e a baby update? What are you doing to prepare? How is your wife doing?
Things are good. She thinks that sharing a bed means 80% her, 15% body pillow and 5% me. The first of two baby showers was Sunday and we now have stuff with no place to put it. A dresser for the baby cavern would be nice. We'll actually be roaming the halls of the famous Mayo Clinic today as you read this because modern medicine tends to overreact (I hope) to kidney issues. Oh well, it's going to go fine and as a bonus we'll have lunch a Fazoli's because nothing beats Italian fast food!
Hopefully you're not sick of my answers and if you have more questions, hold on to them, write them on a Post-it note or make up your own creative answer until I ask for more questions.
There's no question about it, MinnPics is the place for cool photos from around Minnesota and only the best make the cut. Check it out daily!
10 comments:
My car is 23 years old. :P
Hope all goes well with your wife and the baby!!
Love the mowing the lawn question...I was thinking they were asking about some kind of "manscaping"...yikes!
so much good information! And I totally agree about the nipple answer.
Missed the post where questions were asked but found the answers fascinating. Especially your "ideal day" one. A lot of time, effort, creativity and wishful thinking was put into that one!
I see my questions were treated with the seriousness they deserved.
C'mon, man. I really need to know that tootsie pop thing.
Your answer, James, is coming in round two sometime next week so hold on!
Who's the wresting maniac friend who's 140 lbs heavier than you?
Oh and the ideal day... LMAO! At how you'd "move to the couch" after that sumptuous feast of a breakfast.
The whole day sounds awesome to me save for one detail: you're getting up too early. But at least the naps make up for it.
I've decided you are hilarious and i like your blog.
ok
bye
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