Sarah Palin is like Jon and Kate plus Eight

Sarah Palin needs to go away. Apparently more than a few people took issue with a joke on David Letterman's Late Show on CBS earlier this week. Letterman apologized in both a serious and backhanded way implying that to take issue with one of his jokes is ludicrous because, as he said, he has thousands of jokes he is ashamed of ever telling. But that's not my real beef.

My real beef is with Sarah Palin and how she has officially wore out her fifteen minutes of "fame". She is only famous (and I use that term loosely) because an old white guy chose her as his running mate to counter an actual progressive action in modern politics - the nomination of Barack Obama for the Democratic ticket.

It seems that it was John McCain's very basic goal to simply pick a woman. He took one from the last place anyone would care about - Alaska - but failed to investigate her qualifications. First off, she has a daughter, Bristol (named after the city in Tennessee? Kudos.) who is obviously the poster for abstinence-only sex education. How'd that work out for you? Oh, you say she has a baby already and was knocked up at the age of 17? That's very mavericky of her.

Sure, kids make decisions, wise or not, that truly should have no bearing on their parents but Sarah Palin was hand-picked to be the candidate for the second most powerful position in the country. For better or worse, that puts your entire family under the scrutiny of the rather bizarre media landscape today. That means that you'll be the butt of plenty of jokes and so will your family. Learn to deal with it. You'll be scrutinized. Your supporters will be outraged by those jokes because that's what they do.

But for her supporters in elected office to call for the firing of David Letterman, that's insane. He apologized. Nothing he said was racially offensive. Sure, he pulled out the slutty remark about Sarah Palin's appearance but it was in the context of a joke and directed a pregnancy joke at the wrong daughter but it's done. It isn't like he called her a cunt. There, I said it.

The word of the day is "bitter"

The suburbs are supposedly a peaceful haven where people move to get away from the noise, hustle and bustle of the big city. I guess it's that rather mistaken identity that prompts the uptight citizens of certain suburbs to write well-worded but still bitter letters to the editor about what some would see as a rather prominent cultural event coming to their city and billing it as nothing but "vulgar noise".

That is what a husband and wife from Shakopee (who each wrote a letter which got published) called Soundset '09 which took place on Sunday, May 24 - Memorial Day weekend. Soundset, if you didn't know, is an all-day rap/hip-hop festival which took place at Canterbury Park. It is one of just a few venues in the Twin Cities where outdoor concert events take place and if these sticks in the mud have their way it wouldn't happen there again.

I'm a huge music fan and I've lived near outdoor events which I didn't attend. I loved sitting on my deck listening ot the music off in the distance. It always made the bland sameness of the suburbs seem alive but the letters by Kathy and Cliff Stafford give me the impression that they would only be happy if everyone in the city shut their mouths and simply played canasta only to call it a night by 8 PM.

Sure, to many hip-hop is just noise but I'm fairly certain that the music of their generation was called noise by their elders as well. It's a never-ending circle and these "forward-thinking" citizens who want their peace and quiet can keep on bitching because I'm fairly certain that while there are plenty of others who feel the same way, the hundreds of thousands of dollars this event brought in trump the backwoods views of two people who complained about some homegrown Minnesota hip-hop which is far from vulgar. Form your own opinions and listen to some Brother Ali, Atmosphere and P.O.S.

But if you can't stand the "noise", go inside (like almost all other suburbanites), close your windows, turn on a fan and the TV and that should pretty much cover up the "noise".

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Are far-flung 'burbs lacking necessities?

Belle Plaine isn't a familiar name when it comes to the game of "know your Twin Cities suburbs". Mainly because it isn't really a suburb and because it's a smaller city. This "Mayberry-like" city about 15 miles southwest of Shakopee with a population of just over 6,000 is apparently full of residents clamoring for economic growth. And when the residents say economic growth, mayor Tom Meger says that translates to "Where's our Target, where's our Walmart?"

One guy already got in a good rant (and some MnSpeak traffic) about the damn fools that moved twenty miles out from the cities knowing full well that little to nothing existed there. But I'll give you an insider's perspective as my wife is originally from this far-flung, backwards town where a mere two dining options (Subway and Dairy Queen) exist.

Belle Plaine exists today because after the Bloomington Ferry Bridge was built, commuters could finally cross the Minnesota River into cities like Eden Prairie and Bloomington and suddenly a commute to Minneapolis and even Blaine was easy and with gas around a buck per gallon it didn't break the bank. Couple that with houses around $150,000 at that same time, the scene was set for Belle Plaine to grow.

The only problem is that the growth didn't last and the SUV driving commuters are now stuck with shittily-built cookie cutter houses and townhomes in a small town with zero amenities 15 miles from crap you actually need. They forget, though, that they routinely pass at least one each of Wal-Mart, Lowe's, Home Depot, Target and Kohl's because to get a job that supports their lifestyle of "I want to live in the country but have everything from the suburbs" they have to work in Shakopee, if not further away, to afford all that they "need".

In short, it's a city filled with the worst kind of hypocrites. They'll likely vote out the current mayor because, in their eyes, Tom Meger (a nice guy, by the way) can't further the necessary economic growth that the residents of Belle Plaine so desperately need. Well fools, which do you want? Do you want your slice of Mayberry or do you want the same crap that every damn Twin Cities suburb has? Make a decision because you'll neverhave it both ways. And if you want to live closer, good luck peddling your house in a town where well over 100 homes are currently on the market.

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