The Current fires Barb Abney

Broadcast media is a fickle animal — particularly radio. On-air DJ firings and format flips happen regularly. It’s practically expected because it’s just another business chasing a larger profit. When an on-air DJ is fired from a public radio station, though, that’s shocking. When Barb Abney, now-former mid-day on-air host at 89.3 The Current tweeted last night that “I Loved My Job” it was immediately apparent what that meant. It’s a rarity when a public radio DJ is fired. I believe that it has only happened once before at 89.3 The Current in its ten year run and that happened to be Thorn whom Abney replaced.


Barb Abney was definitely an outsider when she came to Minnesota after her former on-air home 97X WOXY in Oxford, Ohio was sold and flipped to a cookie-cutter ass-rock format. She has always had the chops for modern rock and alternative radio. I used to listen to the 97X WOXY stream and remember Abney and instantly recognized the name when she landed in the Twin Cities. I emailed her a short pronunciation guide for some of our hard-to-pronounce-for-outsiders sit names on what must have been her first day on the air at The Current. A few days later she emailed me back and thanked me for listening to her show.


I routinely listened to at least half of her show on The Current and her cover to cover segment was a breath of fresh air and tonal real was like stepping back in time to simpler days. She knows how to connect to the community and even if her style wasn’t for everyone you’d be hard pressed to find a Minnesota music fan who hadn’t seen Abney at a local show at least once. She is passionate about what she does and it has always showed in the way she is the biggest fan of the music she has played. The fact that Barb Abney said that “I Loved My Job” was the best statement she could have ever made. It was obvious, given her passion, that the biggest fan of The Current very well may have been Barb Abney.


Her mid-day on-air replacement, Jade Tittle, will need a lot of patience from MPR management because while she has been on the air doing overnights and fill-ins, her style seems custom-tailored for late nights and overnights. Her mellow tone, to me anyway, seems to be the complete opposite of what is needed for the heart of the 9-5 workday. Her age, too, is exactly what The Current is after as far as listener and member demographics. MPR wants and needs younger listeners as The Current is a feeder for their classical music and news services as those Current listeners age.


I’m not saying that Abney was fired due to her age and a perceived disconnect with the younger listeners the station wants as members but it sure seems possible.


But Barb Abney will survive. The great DJs always do. Maybe the Pohlad family hasn’t completely finalized their on-air line-up for Go96.3. It sure would be a welcome treat to hear a knowledgeable female voice who has shown that she can connect with the Minnesota music scene show up on a locally-owned station which seems to cater to the exact same audience as The Current.

Good luck Babney.

The problem with Cities 97

Cities 97, the one-time AAA formatted radio station in the greater Twin Cities area of Minnesota is a shell of its former self. Having reached its peak in terms of quality in the 1990s, the station has recently devolved into a ship without a rudder.

Take, for instance, the fact that they ditched the very identity that put them on the map. No longer do they claim to feature "quality music from then and now" or claim to be "true to the music" (as I believe they once used this slogan). Instead of being able to hear true eclectic rock and new music from singer/songwriters and the occasional new tune from across the pond, listeners are now subjected to the likes of Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Pharell and Katy Perry in regular and sometimes heavy rotation.

I get that listener's tastes change and that musical styles do the same but I feel that their change in direction has more to do with the fact that there is more money to be grabbed by playing a fairly large percentage of female-friendly pop tunes from sister station KDWB. With a sizable hole in the Twin Cities left by the departure of longtime Adult Contemporary outlet WLTE 102.9 and the fact that KS95 (KSTP 94.5) is basically a top 40 station with better DJs and the shift in music to a more pop sound makes sense. Throw in the fact that the not-so-new place for hip adults in search of new music is 89.3 The Current and the writing was on the wall for Cities 97.

No longer is Cities 97 a national influence. No longer does it break new artists or new hits. Hell, the last artist they laid claim to breaking was Norah Jones and that is well over a decade ago. I'm surprised that Clear Channel's national AAA program director (and Cities 97 program director) Lauren MacLeash managed to hold on to her job for as long as she did given that the station she was running was careening down the hill towards pop music which, given her job duties of the past, is probably not her forte.

Now, though, Cities 97 is home to what could be a decent morning show with Brian Oake but for all of the knowledge he has stored up in his brain he has no outlet to dispense it and play the style of music he cut his broadcasting teeth on and instead spins the likes of Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry and decades-old Goo Goo Dolls. Hi partner in the AM, Keri Noble, pairs well with him but even though she is a fairly notable local artist, she, too, sticks out on Cities 97 given what the station has become.

The DJ following the morning show is a nobody named Melissa (I think) who sounds like she could have been a stay-at-home mom before taking over the midday shift at Cities 97. While she certainly fits the female-friendly bland-fest that Cities 97 has become, she seems to have the same level of musical knowledge as my cat and comes across as little more than a pleasant voice who can read a script. I truly fail to see why there is even a live or pre-recorded voice on Cities 97 between the hours of 10 AM and 3 PM.

Paul Fletcher, the afternoon drive DJ at Cities 97, has certainly done his time in radio (he was once a DJ at 93.7 in the Twin Cities during either in its Edge format or early in the 93X format) but comes off as a fan boy on the air. What he says during breaks between songs often times does little to add to what is left of the experience of listening to Cities 97. The fact that he has the title of Music Director should do little to reassure Fletcher that his job will exist tomorrow given that Cities 97 owner Clear Channel seems hellbent on making its stations sound the same across the country and elimination all local flavor.

Do yourself a favor and replace Cities 97 on your car stereo presets with 89.3 and/or 100.7. Both stations offer far more musical variety and unique sounds than Cities 97 ever has that you'll never look back at the once great Cities 97.

Jeff Dubay gets fired from his podcast

While very rarely does anyone deserve to be fired, when it does happen at least have the decency to handle the event with some grace. Jeff Dubay, though, obviously never learned that part of how to handle getting fired and with this rant on his now-deleted Facebook page has seemingly managed to blacklist himself in the Twin Cities media.

"Sean Barnard informed me today that he was terminating the agreement for me to be part of the Tom Barnard network. When pressed on the matter Sean said if I passed a drug test he would allow me to continue. This was as insulting as it was unw...arranted.Nonetheless I went to Walgreen's and purchased a test at my own expense, knowing I had nothing to hide. I returned home and phoned Sean to tell him I have met his demands and was ready to take the test and would wait for him if he wanted to witness it. He then went into a new set of conditions that included me going to a clinic and getting an expensive test at my own expense and missing my show on the evening of 4/18. A shouting match ensued as I now saw that I was being given a run around and the rules were changing all the time. Sean hung up and refused my calls, referring me to his attorney."

As a bit of background, Dubay had been fired from his dream gig on KFAN-AM 1130 in 2008 after an arrest for possession of Crack Cocaine. Following his conviction and time served in jail, he entered treatment and bounced around  in different treatment programs before announcing that he had kicked his addiction in his own way and was now clean. Dubay resurfaced at KSTP-AM 1500 as co-host of another sports talk show in 2013 but was let go due to budgetary issues early in 2014. He again managed to land on his feet with his own podcast bankrolled by KQRS-FM morning drive personality Tom Barnard.

As you can see from the above excerpt, Dubay seems to have a grudge against Tom Barnard's nephew, Sean Barnard. While nobody will likely ever know the full truth of the reasons behind the demands made by Sean Barnard, the way in which Jeff Dubay handled his exit from the Tom Barnard network  makes me feel that Dubay has other issues that go deeper than simply a grudge. His previous drug use and addiction sends up immediate warning flags that he may have again slipped back into using drugs. The other possibility is mental illness. Dubay has a history of anger issues and while anger itself isn't a mental illness, his history of drug addiction and sometimes bizarre on-air behavior seems to somewhat fall in line with the behavior of someone struggling with mental illness.

I hope that he has a support system -- mainly family who cares about him -- because a string of bad luck like Jeff Dubay has experienced this year could easily trigger a relapse into the world of drug abuse if he hasn't already relapsed. Or maybe Dubay is telling the honest truth in the only way he knows how. We'll probably never know.

A Drive 105 Playlist?

Twin Cities alternative radio station Drive 105, which had a five year run on the airwaves, may have now been gone for almost as long as it existed but today I happened across an 81 video YouTube playlist featuring just some of the rather unique flavor of alternative rock songs which the station featured.

The YouTube user who put this playlist together either has a fabulous memory or kept some sort of spreadsheet chronicling the interesting brand of alternative rock music which was put together for the station's small but somewhat loyal fan base.

Cool stuff that brings back more than a few memories with bands like The Bravery, Low Millions, Weezer, The Kooks, The Killers, Pete Yorn, Tegan and Sara, The Dresden Dolls, The Strokes and artists I had completely forgotten about like Rock Kills Kid, Luce, The Features, Agent Sparks, Razorlight and of course local favorite and The Voice alum Tim Mahoney!

Cost-cutting or media crumbling

We all know that traditional media (radio, TV, newspapers, magazines) are facing tough times. Whether it's due to overpaying for properties, unrealistic profit projections, living in the past or cutting staff to remain profitable, these are the toughest of times for traditional media outlets.

Just this morning, KFAN radio's (KFXN-FM, 100.3) Mike Morris "The Superstar" was "let go" from his job as host of the stations Power Trip morning show. That leaves the show in the hands, for the time being, of the sidekicks/co-hosts of Chris Hawkey, Sludge (Cory Cove) and Paul Lambert, aka Meatsauce. While I rarely listened, I do know that Mike Morris was the host for a reason. While the show came off as juvenile at best, they covered sports and topics related to their core audience of 18-49 year-old men. Morris was the adult of the team, if nothing else, by age.

The same thing happened last week to the Half-Assed Morning Show on rocker 93X. Longtime host Weasel was let go (again, due to cost-cutting measures) after helming the morning show on KXXR-FM 93.7 for well over a decade. That move leaves the overly juvenile Nick in charge with the other sidekick Josh playing second fiddle along with a new guy, Ben. It's a rudderless ship. While Weasel's input had diminished in the last 18 months of his time on the show, he still provided direction, reigned in the kids and was at least an experienced DJ.

How far, though, can the cost-cutting go? Will listeners still tune in for what is obviously a lesser-quality product? It's a vicious cycle. When you cut the costs of an experienced staffer (regardless of the medium), that experienced voice/talent, if replaced, is replaced by someone less-experienced who is less likely to produce a high-quality product. In turn, listeners/readers (depending on the medium) look elsewhere -- many never return. In happens in radio and it happens in print media and it happens on TV. When those talented faces of their respected medium leave or are cut, advertisers may also leave -- unhappy to have their business appear within/alongside an inferior product.

It never ends. Remember when Tony Fly was relevant and maybe even a recognizable name? Up until a few months ago, he was actually still on the air -- right here in the Twin Cities. Saddled with moronic programming choices, 96.3 KTWN-FM was quite obviously a piss-poor fit for Tony Fly and management saw the opportunity to axe a talented host to save money while retaining an inferior on-air product.

With the combination of the recognizable faces of media organizations leaving for more stable pastures or being unceremoniously axed to cut costs and talented behind-the-scenes staff leaving in droves for alternative, stable careers; traditional media as we know it is becoming a shell of its former self. What they fail to remember is that the most talented individuals are often the highest paid (rightfully so) and when they leave, they leave with the talent and skills which could make the company viable in some form in the future. It's like looking at someone whose dark fate has already been decided.

The constant of change

Music is powerful. It evokes memories of days gone by. It's music that marks milestones in our lives. Music, like our lives, is constantly changing too.

Music, just like breathing, is free. It is beamed in to our cars and homes for free. (Well, almost free. There are commercials and the small investment of a radio to consider.) It can open a world of possibilities and while we bemoan its current state of blandness and lack of energy, there are those occasional bits of genius that make an indelible mark on the collective consciousness of a few.

The passion about music is what breeds such an emotional attachment to it. The people who love it are most attached and losing what you loved and were so attached to can be heard in their voices when it hits them that change has hit and it's inevitable.

The Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul are often billed as a musical mecca. Sure, our fair cities are no Los Angeles or New York City. We can't claim that punk rock was born here. We can't lay claim to birthing an entire genre of music. Hell, it's a melting pot here with well-known acts such as Atmosphere, The Replacements, Husker Du, Lifter Puller, Soul Asylum, Tapes 'n Tapes and of course Prince hailing from here.

It only seems fitting that such a musically rich and diverse region would have an equally rich history of playing the genre-crossing rock and roll that has created memories for hundreds of thousands of Minnesotans.

In the days gone by, radio was the choice for the average music fan to break the monotony of our two seasons. It would warm our cold souls during the winter months and follow us outside during the summer months. For many, music has been and always will be a constant companion. The fanatics will remember these pieces of Minnesota's musical history far better than I will as I have only read about them and write today from the perspective of a fan with much to learn.

Hearing the likes of recorded snippets from KJ104 (KJJO, St. Louis Park, Minneapolis, St. Paul), it's hard to imagine life in the early 90s in the Twin Cities. This radio station which would become a whole host of other formats, landing as JACK-FM most recently, began in the modern heyday of rock music. They missed out on grunge rock as the plug was pulled in 1992 in favor of country but some of the forefathers of modern rock radio in the Twin Cities got their start there. I heard names such as Shelley Miller and BT mentioned during their farewell broadcast. They were a family and they loved what they did. They exposed Minnesotans to homegrown music and to music which wasn't being played elsewhere. The following was never huge but they were dedicated.

A two-year absence of modern rock followed but that drought was ended by the still-remembered REV 105. Yeah, the likes of BT, Mary Lucia, Brian Oake and again Shelley Miller surfaced here and poured their hearts in to the little station that could. Eventually three stations ringing the Twin Cities, REV 105 gained a foothold and a dedicated fan base. The staff knew the music and loved the music. The one thing they didn't have power over was the ownership who sold the station to ABC who ditched the modern/alternative rock format in favor of hard rock sending listeners to the closest thing available, 93.7 The Edge.

A mere nine months later, 105 was reborn as Zone 105 with a somewhat lighter and more "safe" alternative rock format. I still remember being scared to death as my friend's sister drove us down 35W faster than any sane person would drive as I heard Liz Phair coming through her car's speakers. From that moment on, I became a diehard alternative rock fan. As my trips to the Twin Cities became more frequent, I would enjoy whatever Zone 105 had to offer. Yes, even as they floundered around with various flavors of alt-rock and even in to alternative classics. Then one day it vanished. Replacing it was some classic R&B music. It sounded like a bad disco record.

Once again, though, the alternative rock returned. Having sustained my musical tastes for many years on a steady diet of CDs, I discovered one day on my return trip from visiting my girlfriend for the weekend that alternative rock was back on the 105s. Reborn this time as Drive 105, I remember hearing some older Smashing Pumpkins and The Ramones. Those weekends I spent in the Twin Cities, I'd be sure to check out Drive 105 and each time I tuned in, I heard something new that I liked. Sure, it wasn't the same as before but it worked for me. Slowly, my CD collection took a back seat to Drive 105. Even more so as I finally moved to the Twin Cities. I'd listen to 105.7 at work, 105.1 at home and around town and enjoyed it as the station took on an identity of its own instead of competing against Cities 97. Shelley Miller once again was a voice at the station and my ears, for the most part, were happy.

The music wasn't cutting edge but it wasn't being heard anywhere else in the Twin Cities.

Then came 2005 when Minnesota Public Radio and their deep wallets started their own station experimenting with flavors of alt-rock. 89.3 The Current was born and for over two years, I flipped between the two stations. When The Current began, I was exposed to Minnesota rapper Atmosphere and a host of other local music. The more mass appeal acts were on Drive 105. For me, the two stations co-existed well. If the music on one sucked, the other might be the place to be. They were three and five on my car radio's presets.

Then one day in May 2007, I flipped on my desk radio and heard the DJ on Drive 105 say a brief goodbye and that it had been fun. She played "Say it ain't so" by Weezer. It was the end of Drive 105. Hey, five years for alt-rock is a fabulous run. Sure, I was upset by the loss but after well over a year, 89.3 The Current itself has evolved. I still tune in every day to see how Mary Lucia will surprise me in the afternoon. Maybe alternative rock won't ever come back to the commercial airwaves but the listeners support The Current and it's my hope that as long as there is a fan base the music will live on to create more memories for the diehard music fans who still supplement their iPod listening with the tried and true radio.

************

Somehow, this lengthy post sat unpublished since 2008. Here it is if you care.

Minnesota Twins in at Ktwin (KTWN 96.3)?

The Pohlad family, owners of the Minnesota Twins, appear ready to make the move which many have seen coming since they purchased the radio station at 96.3 on the FM dial in the Twin Cities. An official announcement tomorrow at Target Field - home of the Minnesota Twins - will likely lead to the Minnesota Twins parting ways with KTSP-AM 1500 - their home for the past six seasons - to move to the FM dial at 96.3 KTWN.

With the music format of the station in total disarray since about two weeks after the format's New Year's Day debut a change was inevitable but will the $1,000,000 the family would have made from having KSTP-AM pay for the team's broadcast rights make sense to the Pohlads? A million dollars is a million dollars no matter how you slice it and without K-twin ponying up a million dollars, that leaves the Twins' owners short that much more. KTWN-FM 96.3 is by no means a cash cow in its current state but by the end of the year the station's books will be a bit lighter after the recent firing of Tony Fly and I wouldn't expect to see Eric Perkins return to the D.O.A. K-twin morning show now that he's head honcho of the sports department at KARE-TV.

So, what happens to K-twin? Do they hold on to the mish-mashed music format and wrap it around Twins games? Do they relaunch with another try at a music format that isn't just a seemingly random collection of burned to a crisp songs thrown at the wall? Do they team up with CBS and their soon-to-be-launched national sports network (its full schedule debuts January 1, 2013) and bring a third (for the time being) sports talk radio station to the Twin Cities? Or does some other owner buy up 96.3. Both Hubbard (owners of KSTP-AM 1500) and CBS (owners of WCCO 830, 104.1 & 102.9) have the funding to make it happen.

I'm guessing, though, that K-twin won't be sold and that the Pohlads - kings of poor decisions - will combine Twins broadcasts and the current lackluster music format into one of the worst FM radio stations heard in the Twin Cities (at least inside the 494/694 loop -- because their signal is rather weak) in the past 30 years.

Ktwin radio (KTWN-FM) ditches Tony Fly

Ktwin (KTWN-FM), making a bit of an abrupt change to its 7 month-old morning radio show, dumped long-time personality Tony Fly while co-host Eric Perkins is away at the London Summer Olympics for KARE 11. Third wheel Dani Starr appears to be absent as well for the time being with former/current afternoon DJ Dan Riggs.

Tony Fly mentioned, in an interview with City Pages, that Northern Lights Broadcasting management stated that they planned on going in a different direction and that ratings had gone virtually nowhere since the switch to a rather bland Modern Adult Contemporary format.

On a curious side note, the Ktwin website offers up zero mentions of its current DJs. This development, along with the axing of Tony Fly who is as serviceable of a DJ as could be expected given the watering down of the music on Ktwin after its first month on the air, makes me wonder if more changes are in the works at 96.3 KTWN-FM.

New radio stations - thoughts on 96.3 KTWIN and Buz'n 102.9

So far, 2012 has been a year of change. Locally speaking the Twin Cities have two new radio stations. But when I say new, that doesn't mean shit when it comes to radio stations because everything has already been done. That is painfully obvious when it comes to Buz'n 102.9. It's a horrible nickname for the new CBS-owned country music station which replaced the equally horrible Lite-FM on Christmas day. I guess it's all about choice for the country music fans in the cities but now with two big country stations to choose from it seems like people being able to choose from two Walmart stores. They both offer the same crap, the only differences being the employees and location. Maybe one Walmart has a more pleasant person working the deli counter so you choose that one but in the end you can get the same offerings either place so maybe you shop both of them. That's how exciting it is having two country station in the Twin Cities.

The second new radio offering is actually different. Gone is 96.3 Now (formerly hip-hop/R&B as B96) and their slightly more danceable mix of KDWB music and in its place is 96.3 K-TWIN. I first checked out the K-TWIN stream as I did some web design work Sunday evening and was intrigued. The station definitely has a bit of a rock and alternative lean to it but tends to lose me when they throw in an 80s track from Bon Jovi. K-TWIN definitely seems to favor artists like Adele, Kings of Leon and Foster the People while I've also heard Lily Allen, Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers more than a few times.

Today (Wednesday) is the first day with live talent on 96.3 K-TWIN and I have been pleasantly surprised with the new morning show featuring KARE-11's Eric Perkins and Tony Fly with the future addition of Danni Starr. Fly and Starr, of course, were both on the previous incarnations of 96.3 and come with that baggage of a more "urban" lean and I've never been a fan of Tony Fly's performance on 96.3. He was terrible in trying to hold down a morning show when it was B96 and even worse in afternoons when the station became 96.3 Now. I'm not sure it was his grating voice or the schtick he tried to pass off.

Perkins, though, feels genuine right off the bat in his first day as a morning drive personality. Maybe it's because he's a personality people can relate to from his current gig on KARE-11 or maybe it's because Fly and Perkins actually work together well on the radio. I'm not sure when their morning show acually ends but they did recycle the two big interviews (Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and St. Paul mayor Chris Coleman) from earlier in the morning in the 9 o'clock hour which doesn't bode well for the first day. Go big right out of the gate, don't mail it in, guys.

Another thing I'm curious about is the involvement if Rick Kupchella's BringMeTheNews.com. Kupchella was in the studio with Fly and Perkins this morning, BMTN provides the twice an hour news segments during the 96.3 K-TWIN morning show and Eric Perkins is also employed by BMTN as a sports reporter. I smell some sort of deeper involvement beyond the purchasing of BMTN newscasts.

Overall, 96.3 KTWN-FM needs a little polishing (get your website up and running) but it should be able to carve out a niche as it refines its music format somewhat. It's different enough from Cities 97 (because it's actually energetic) and features the more upbeat tracks and artists from 89.3 The Current and it avoids the majority of the music played on KS95 and has, to this point, actually managed to hold true to its statement of playing music not found on the majority of stations in the Twin Cities. Add in Blink-182 playing as I finish writing this and I'll keep listening. 96.3 K-TWIN has the familiar music for me and 89.3 The Current covers the new music. Hopefully they can co-exist.

Tim Mahoney's big break happens Tuesday

When I first heard him on the now-gone Drive 105, I turned my radio up a bit. When I heard the afternoon DJ announce the artists in the previous block of music I was blown away. Holy shit, I said to myself, Tim Mahoney stepped up his game for that track. When his CD, Stay/Leave, landed at Target, I snapped up a copy and when I was organizing my disheveled CD rack yesterday I took note of that disc and how it thanks former Drive 105 DJ J.P. The Radio Slave for getting him on the air on an actual radio station and making him at least regionally popular.

Tomorrow night, though, Tim Mahoney takes to the national stage on NBC's surprise hit The Voice.



His music, especially Piece of You, has the core elements of an excellent rock song with the memorable and sing-along lyrics of a good pop song. He's the type of Twin Cities musician who deserves to be on the larger, national stage and I hope that his national television debut tomorrow night on NBC proves to be successful for him. Check it out locally on KARE-11 at 8 PM C/T.

Dear whiners: get over your racial sensitivities

Last week, there was a bit of a ripple involving local top 40 radio station KDWB and a parody song entitled "30 Hmongs in a House" done by the Dave Ryan Show's producer, Steve-O, set to the tune of Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven". The lyrics, while terribly offensive to some had me laughing when the song originally aired sometime during the week of March 21.

The song, supposedly suggested by a listener in some wacky morning radio bit they were doing between one of the eight songs they play over the course of four hours, poked fun at stereotypes of the Hmong population in the Twin Cities. The Dave Ryan Show has a decent relationship with the Hmong population in the Twin Cities and they love to rib that population -- and it seems to be well received.

But after issuing an apology via the show's Facebook page due to a few persons of Hmong descent being offended, an advertiser has now stepped up and pulled their ads from KDWB. HealthPartners, who had been advertising their online clinic VirtuWell, on Friday yanked all advertising from the station indefinitely.

My advice is to get the hell over it. Because a few culturally sensitive people raised their voices over a song which was heard by about 10% of the entire metro population, the station will likely have to issue some sort of heartfelt apology and maybe even go as far as making a donation to some charity which supports the Hmong population (about 50,000 in the Twin Cities metro area) to appease HealthPartners.

It's just another example of advertisers, for better or worse, having far too much influence over the content of commercial media. I'm not a die-hard Dave Ryan fan but I do admit to listening to the mornng show on KDWB. I don't particularly care for the music but the show does have some comedic value to it. For once I'd like to see a media company thumb their nose at an advertiser who jumped ship due to "questionable content" and stand their ground. An apology, especially when the parody wasn't cruel at all, is all for show no matter what the circumstances are. Do stand-up comedians apologize to people who have been offended by something in their act? There's absolutely no reason to apologize for this parody either? After all, what other young-targeting radio station is HealthPartners going to run to in an effort to get the word out about VirtuWell -- 96.3 Now? Sure.

Why broadcast in HD?

Much has been made in the past decade about High-Definition (HD) broadcasting. It was touted as the biggest advancement in television since color TV. I remember first seeing a High-Definition broadcast during some incarnation of the Winter Olympics as I wandered through the Rochester, MN Best Buy store. I am fairly certain that the local NBC affiliate, KTTC, wasn’t yet broadcasting in HD (this may have been as far back as 1998, more likely 2002) but they had a handful of many-thousand-dollar plasma televisions showing the most kick-ass picture that I had ever seen on a TV. I know it was a hockey game being broadcast but beyond that I can’t remember anything else.

Fast forward about a decade and I actually own two HD sets. But I still only receive a handful of channels -- mainly the local Twin Cities signals - in High-Def. This is one part my own frugality (I refuse to pay an additional $7.95/month for a box from Mediacom which forces me to use their shitty remote and make room for a clunky, ass-ugly box) and another part the fault of the companies broadcasting the very content we watch. The first local affiliate I received was KARE-11. KSTP, FOX 9 and WCCO followed within a year but then things stopped. It took another year of so before Mediacom Cable started re-transmitting High-Def signals for KPXM (Ion) and WFTC just arrived on my TVs a few months ago along with WGN. I’m still holding out for KSTC (45) and that’s where the story really begins.

KSTC-45 has the rights to the Minnesota Timberwolves, Minnesota State High School League playoff games and the Minnesota Wild. While I haven’t caught either an NBA or NHL game on KSTC I did pass by and watch a few seconds of a high school hockey state playoff game last night. To put it bluntly it looked like shit.

The picture was best described as muddy and grainy, the audio sounded like it was first being passed through a bucket of thick Mississippi River mud and I could barely read the scores in the graphics bar at the top of the screen. And to top it all off, it was still being broadcast in standard definition (the old not-widescreen 4:3 aspect ratio).

Why, in 2011, are any sports being shown not in full widescreen high definition? I am not sure if this is an issue with the broadcast equipment being used by the folks producing the high school games for KSTC or if the fault lies with KSTC themselves.

I do know that a huge amount of responsibility lies with Mediacom, my cable television provider, for not granting its customers access to the last broadcast television station in the Twin Cities not available in high definition. The other gripe about the lack of high definition broadcasts lies, again, with cable providers. They are viewing the advent of high definition not as a way to provide a better experience to their viewers but instead as yet another way to profit. Why should I, as a customer, pay any additional money per month for what is essentially a duplication of services? Both of my televisions, equipped with internal QAM tuners, receive unencrypted HD signals. The logical thing for cable providers to do is send those HD signals from all subscribed packages to customers’ televisions unencrypted. They already do this with the shitty analog version of every channel I subscribe to, I just want the digital (and HD) version in the same way. My television (and every decent TV sold in recent years) supports this and it would remove a huge burden from the cable companies. They would no longer have to supply clunky Motorola cable boxes to receive the signal. Things could go back to a simple plug and play format -- the way they were meant to be. Even new TVs still have a co-ax input so it’s a logical process.

And if Mediacom -- and other cable providers -- would just loosen the reigns a bit they’d have happier customers instead of angry people like me who just want to watch some Minnesota Wild playoff games in full widescreen high definition.

Where's all that hope now Vikings fans?

Like so many others, I'm what people would describe as a fair weather sports fan. I don't pretend to know the stats of individual players on most of the Twin Cities/Minnesota teams and I don't even know the positions most of them play but I do know when their fortunes are looking either up or down.

Currently, the only bright spot for Minnesota sports fans is the Minnesota Twins. They are already a lock for the playoffs and, despite losing two of three to Oakland, are still inching closer to winning their division and having the overall best resord in the American League. But even with that comes negatives. They'll likely face the buy-a-championship New York Yankees at some point which means that no matter how well the Minnesota Twins are playing their season will come to a brutal end. It's the way it is and if you're like me you've come to accept the fate of Minnesota sports teams. A couple are usually competitive but when push comes to shove they just don't win championships because this is the midwest. We're "just happy they made it to the playoffs". But that's bullshit.

Why should we be happy, as sports fans or anything else in life, with "being good enough"? When did that become acceptable? Why have we been brainwashed to accept that second-best status? It's like the job market as of late -- I hear plenty of people, after I bitch about paying upwards of $6,000 per year for health insurance that covers nearly nothing only to have the other person in the conversation say "you should just be happy you have a job". Don't get me wrong, I'm damn happy that I have a job but would it hurt the big guy in charge to take a cut in pay so the worker bees can afford some heat for their hive?

And that comes back to sports to a certain extent. If other cities can afford to essentially buy a championship, why doesn't that work here? The Minnesota Vikings, and their owner Zygi Wilf, forked out millions of dollars and put up with hijinks, shenanigans and downright bullshit to land greying and broken quarterback Brett Favre for a second year. Has he produced anything thus far? No. Unless you count two losses in two regular season games producing results then he hasn't lived up to the legend. But by God he's here and that's good enough for the diehard Vikings fans.

But in my opinion it's not enough. Why couldn't the Vikings step up all aspects of their game and win enough games to make it to the playoffs while grooming a young quarterback under the tutelage of Brett Favre. We all know that Favre will eventually explode in to a huge cloud of grey dust and him playing for a 21st year is becoming less and less likely with each passing day and each loss so plan ahead. Do the Minnesotan thing and promote from within and quit accepting "good enough" and second best. I once had hope too but after watching yesterday's brutal and sloppy loss to the Miami Dolphins I'm back to being bitter and jaded.

For the flip side of my personality, check out the refreshingly positive MinnPics -- chock full of killer photos from across Minnesota.

What to do with Brookdale

It's finally and officially closed. The biggest joke of Twin Cities regional shopping malls has shut its doors but now the question has turned to "What do we do with Brookdale?" I may not be the best guy to ponder the multitude of answers because I'm from the opposite end of the Twin Cities but Brooklyn Center isn't exactly an impressive place when Brookdale was the retail center of the community. Beginning right at its logo, the mall seemed to be a bit of a joke - especially in the seven years I've lived here. Every televised promotion I saw for Brookdale seemed rather low rent or even ghetto in nature (the crappy boy band concert-turned-riot didn't help matters). While that may have been an accurate portrayal of what the mall represented it isn't exactly the image you want to portray to attract a wide swath of the population.

And that failure to attract a wide swath of the population at least in part contributed to the mall's downfall. That and the fact that the mall was essentially a hangout for gangs, thugs and lowlifes - that doesn't exactly help to draw families looking to shop.

But the big question now is "What do we do with a huge, vacant building in the middle of a first-ring suburb?" Ideally, this huge space would be developed in to something actually useable for the community as a whole. Realistically, because it's basically a building that will have to be demolished sitting on a huge, paved piece of real estate, the former Brookdale will sit and crumble as it goes through a vicious and endless cycle of defaults and foreclosures. Maybe, after about twenty years of this cycle, it will end up in the hands of the city of Brooklyn Center itself and then it can become a community gathering place (not a mall) where families can congregate. Maybe it could truly be a center for the community but that's a lot of utopian wishful thinking on my part. Hell, do people actually associate with others in public anymore?

There's also a lot of talk about the Brookdale site being perfect for a new Minnesota Vikings stadium. The only problem is that the current owner/developer would demand a price for this shit hole that would make potential buyers wonder if millions of tons of gold sat just beneath the cracked and crumbling asphalt of the parking lot. Sure, it has decent freeway access and is truly a huge piece of property but there's another huge piece of property perfect for a new Vikings stadium - it's called the Metrodome.

If given free reign, though, what would your dream consist of for redeveloping the now shuttered Brookdale site? A park, a transit station, a new urban center/downtown development? Have at it.

When you're done, click on over to MinnPics and see what the latest photographic treasure of Minnesota has been found for your enjoyment!

Is KSTP-TV actively trying to lose money?

It intrigued me that local TV station KSTP plans to launch what can only be described as a boatload of "hyperlocal" websites in the next year. One commenter on the MinnPost story nailed it squarely on the head by saying that KSTP (and the Hubbards who own the station) are two years late in trying something that has already failed across the country.

I can also attest to the "hyperlocal" idea being worthless. Without giving too much away, I proposed a hyperlocal website at my place of employment just over two years ago. Just like everything else, it was dependent on local/area advertising. My proposal, on paper, sounded like a sure thing but even as I read it just minutes ago I realized that, given the current economic environment, the sales figures would never have even come close to the rather conservative dollar amounts I had projected.

And to think that an even more conservative-minded company thinks they can successfully staff and fill multiple hyperlocal news/content websites with anything remotely captivating, much less original, is insane. My project proposal incorporated multiple existing elements and products to it and could still be easily rolled out to other communities/neighborhoods. KSTP's plans, while somewhat unclear, really make no mention of incorporating their suite of niche products to give them further exposure. Hell, I have no idea if KSTP even has any truly worthwhile niche products but I don't expect the websites to be islands of content either.

The mere mention of the KSTP sites containing press releases makes them seem even less valuable. Sure, it's legit information but publishing it in the general news flow immediately devalues any legitimate news the sites may contain. And the plans they have for expanding them to their outstate markets including Duluth-Superior and Austin-Rochester makes even less sense. Those areas are still havens for the newspapers who own those markets. Attempting to launch a competing product under the umbrella of a less-than-reputable name is suicide and KAAL-TV in Austin is considered by residents to be a laughingstock. The station, under the ownership of Hubbard, has virtually abandoned coverage of its home market in favor of the more lucrative Rochester market. That bare-bones operation barely turns a profit as it stands now and further diluting it for the sake of hyperlocal websites which the community newspapers and their websites in the area already cover quite well will ensure that the outstate KSTP hyperlocal websites are the first to be shuttered followed soon after by those in the Twin Cities.

But if KSTP is curious about my well-researched plan and wants to talk to me, I'm more than willing to listen. Let's just say I know the Austin market quite well. Call me...

And while I'm whoring myself out, check out MinnPics. It's the home of the best of the best of Minnesota photography!

Don't go on TV to talk about your genital blemishes

A guy in Lakeville is learning that nothing is actually free. The Star-Tribune tells the story in a more in-depth way than most would care to read but if you show up at a TV studio and see an audience when you expected none, you should turn the other way and run.

The guy, Tyler Bowling, seems to want it both ways. He was promised a free, brief laser surgery procedure to remove his pearly penis papules in exchange for his appearance on a medical show on an "all-medical network" that is only watched by "older people and doctors". The medical show, though, turned out to be "The Doctors" which is aired nationally in almost every television market (wow, someone in TV lied, color me surprised). In short, it's far from obscure and niche.

But this guy in Lakeville seems to want it both ways. He agreed rather hastily, after seeing that the show included a studio audience, to have the surgery. No, the surgery wasn't in front of a studio audience but he still agreed to do it. If you think that at least one person watching won't recognize you and start to spread the word, saying "Hey, Tyler's on TV and he's got pearly bumps on his penis!", then you are rather disconnected from the world.

He claims he's suffered immense embarrassment from being on the show and having the segment air during subsequent repeats but he should have also know that TV shows never die. They live on for years - even decades. If you think that a TV show is going to do anything for free, once and done, then you need a lesson in gullibility. Sure, I don't blame the guy for taking up an offer for getting a free medical procedure but the big lesson here is that nothing is free. If you've agreed to be on TV once, they own that footage forever! Don't be stupid. If it's embarrassing enough that you wouldn't tell your friends about it, then don't be a fool and go on national TV and expect less embarrassment.

Now forget about disfigured genitalia and check out the photos of Minnesota at MinnPics. If you don't a kitten dies.

Are malls yesterday's news?

The Twin Cities are littered with malls. Off the top of my head I can think of Rosedale, Southdale, Ridgedale, Brookdale, Burnsville Center, Mall of America, Eden Prairie Center and a whole host of lesser malls including Knollwood, Northtown Mall and newer outdoor retail complexes like those in Maple Grove and Coon Rapids. Of course there are even worse attempts at shopping malls in the Twin Cities like the former Priordale in Prior Lake which has been redeveloped nicely as a strip mall and a still delapidated but somehow alive Shakopee Town Square. Hell, most every suburb probably has something billed as a mall somewhere in the city and chances are that it is hurting.

Even in Minnesota, the trend seems to be to take it outside. A forced sense of urbanism with outdoor sidewalks and barely navigable streets is what is currently cool. It's supposed to be the rebirth of the downtown but I know better. To me it's still a shopping center because we've been trained to think what downtowns are. They feature a lack of parking but these new "downtowns" have sprawling parking lots much like the malls of old. But these new lifestyle centers, as developers call them, work. It makes sense because they seem to have damn near every name in retail one could think of.

The one in Coon Rapids is particularly troubling to me. It spans multiple blocks and while I avoided entering its tangle of so-called streets, it was a madhouse of spending - even late on a Thursday afternoon. I'm not familiar with that area of the Twin Cities but I'm betting that its construction left more than a few vacant storefronts elsewhere in town.

And if you think this is just a metro problem you are dead wrong. Back in my old hometown, good ole' drug-ridden, illegal immigrant-filled Austin, MN, the mall which at one time I'm told was actually prosperous now contains two anchor stores and probably less than a dozen smaller stores. I remember at one time the freeway-facing signage advertised over 60 stores but I don't ever remember seeing it full. Even its "food court" - containing only two restaurants - sucks. It, too, fell victim to big box development and lifestyle centers but on a smaller scale. With a K-Mart built across the street in the 1990s and a Target built across the highway later that same decade, the nails were positioned, all somebony needed to do was pound them in to the coffin.

Then came a Super Walmart a couple years ago. Even from nearly 100 miles away I could hear the pounding of those nails. The coffin was closed and it took K-Mart with it this year. Last year they lost a Cash Wise Foods grocery store. A Rainbow Foods store, circa late 1990s So, much like Brookdale Center and other now-doomed malls, hundreds of thousands of square feet of retail space stand vacant. Grass slowly growing through the cracking pavement as a couple vehicles sit parked marked for sale by the owners.

So maybe the American love affair with malls is done. They had a nice fifty year run. And maybe it's finally been realized that we, as a country, are simply over-retailed. Redundant businesses are shuttered all the time - take note of Snyders Drug Stores - they are gone but CVS is building in every other city now. Maybe its all cyclical and these malls will again be bustling in ten years as someone thinks up a new use. Or maybe the owners, failing to look forward, will end up with millions of square feet of once viable retail space on the auction block as cities deal with massive, neglected eyesores on prominent highways for all travelers to see. What to do, what to do?

Join in a discussion of the recent foreclosure sale of Brookdale Center and read up on Brookdale's checkered past.

While you're at it, check out the photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.

A penny for my thoughts about the penny

If it wasn't for the radio - yes the radio - I wouldn't have known about the redesign of the penny - or the one cent piece if you're all old-timey. If it weren't for the internet, though, I wouldn't have known just how terrible its new design was.

Which leads me to an actual point. Where do most people get their news? It's been studied and rehashed on an almost daily basis. Newspapers offer up a text and photo-based approach but once a day but to get that particular breed of news in a format you can hold in your hands costs a quarter or two each and every day. Sure, you can get basically the same news as you'd get in print for free on most every newspaper's website but newspaper websites are a pain in the ass to navigate through without using their lousy search functions.

The internet is available, if you don't mind looking over your shoulder, while at work to plenty of office workers. The most accessed time for many news websites in this particular corner of Minnesota is between 11 AM and 1 PM which correlates with lunch time across the different timezones of the United States. But what do you do if you don't want to or can't access the internet for news while at work?

If you're like me, you have a crappy, barely together radio sitting at your desk. My trusty $5.99 earbuds from Menards attached to either it, my iPod or the headphone jack of my computer I keep myself not only entertained/distracted from the outside noise of the office but informed, too. Getting that information/entertainment mix is a bit of work here in the Twin Cities. I can't find a radio station I could tolerate for the course of a workday so I mix it up. I have appointments with certain stations on various parts of the dial but I actually seek out the 4:20-ish news update with Bob Collins on 89.3 The Current. Maybe it's because he has an attitude about the world that matches mine (we're all doomed) or maybe it's because his banter with Mary Lucia is genuine but whatever the case the news he mentions during those few minutes - while not always the biggest headlines - seems almost tailored to my tastes.

And without that newscast and his daily mention - via Lucia's asking - about what's on the News Cut blog, I would have never known about the morons in government with nothing better to do messing with the U.S penny. Screwing with the design of a coin which nobody already gave a damn about is equal to tax forms using a font size 1/2 point smaller than they did previously. Nobody's going to notice! Way to waste money, geniuses! And thank you Bob Collins because without your blog post mentioned on The Current, I would have never known about something most would see as trivial but something I see as wildly maddening.

The only thing more maddening that a new design for the penny is missing an update of MinnPics. Don't miss the kick-ass photos from all over Minnesota including recent name-dropping of Olympic sports. Go now and check it out and subscribe to the RSS feed or I'll write another blog post about curling.

Lindsey Vonn's ass looks yummy

It's not ever day that a local girl makes the cover of Sports Illustrated but U.S. Olympic ski-team member Lindsey Vonn from right here in the Twin Cities has done just that. And she's garnered plenty of attention -- and controversy -- for looking damn fine in the process.

Now to a casual magazine reader, you'd think that it's just another magazine with an athlete featured on the cover. But with a rather rabid blogosphere eager to analyze every photo of anyone even mildly famous, it was only a matter of time before everyone with far too much time on their hands picked apart the soon-to-be-infamous Lindsey Vonn Sports Illustrated cover photo.

Now being that I'm a red-blooded American guy, I think she looks hot as hell. Being that she is basically a professional athlete, she has an incredibly toned body. She could probably kick my ass and, you know what, I'd let her. For one, it's not cool to beat up on a woman but secondly, she's a knockout and that pose was done intentionally.

Yeah, I know it's a typical skiing pose for downhill skiing but she isn't moving. There's no illusion of motion in that photo. She's just made to look like she's screaming down a snow-covered slope somewhere. And then there's the positioning of her rather taught rear end over the magazine's masthead. That's just another intentional move for a magazine geared at guys.

I could go on and on about the obvious layering of photos - one for the mountainous background, likely one for the setting sun and cloudy sky and a heavily airbrushed Lindsey Vonn. Nobody gets that dolled up to take a run down a ski slope and while I know that this was a photo shoot, the level of digital altering is bordering on ridiculous.

But in the end it's sex that sells. It sells everything and while I wouldn't buy Sports Illustrated just because Lindsey Vonn and her awesome ass graces the cover, millions of other guys would and while I criticize moves like this solely to sell a magazine, my job is much the same so I'll shut up now and do the right thing - drool over the curves and protruding, smackable ass of Lindsey Vonn.

If you feel dirty for reading this, check out the classy photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.

Belle Plaine manages to come off as full of rednecks

In an overly-long FOX 9 News story proving that FOX 9 doesn't have enough real news to fill their 90 minutes of news beginning at 9 PM (below) a bunch of barhounds in the far south Twin Cities exurb of Belle Plaine found a way to be the news. Rather than use Facebook for what it has devolved in to - playing Farmville and Mob Wars - a local yokel took it upon herself to create a Facebook "Fan" page about a local bartender who is basically a prick.



I've been in that bar a few times as I celebrate St. Patrick's Day in that particular city each year but have never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. The real story here is that a bunch of disgruntled barflies have A.) too much time on their hands and B.) a serious problem with confronting problems face to face. Now, I'm not suggesting an old west type of Main St. shootout but these people need to drop the high school bullshit. This isn't a matter for the cops either - unless a true crime has been committed.

In a world where money talks, the bar patrons in and around Belle Plaine need to speak with their wallets and, if the manager/co-owner of Andy's Bar & Grill (Brian Mayrand) is as much of a dick as these people say he is, spread the word in a more civil fashion to get others to simply stop buying their drinks there. There are about a half-dozen other bars within walking distance of Andy's Bar so it's not like the town is experiencing a shortage of bars.

This all boils down to a two-sided argument where both parties have some truths to what they are saying. The bartender/owner/manager might run a tighter ship than what previously existed but he may be a total prick as well. Let's face it, that many people having similar experiences can't exactly be an elaborate conspiracy. It's also an obvious example of FOX 9 trying to be ultra-investigative and in-depth - even when the story is a non-story because let's face it, unless the bartender is stealing cash and serving and then having sex with underage girls this isn't news.

That would be like me claiming that MinnPics is all breaking news. It isn't because it's all photos of Minnesota every damn day. Check it out!