Advertising has apparently gotten very cheap

I know that the economy is in the crapper but it's even more apparent when you listen to the radio. The products and services advertised wouldn't be able to afford advertising unless the rates were so low and the products and services seem to be custom-tailored for a time where 3 out of 10 people are perched on the ledge ready to jump from the nearest tall building. But what about the products? What are they and what do they promise?

Quietus: A product, in a chewable pill, that eliminates the ringing in your ears caused by machinery, electronic devices and loud music. The commercial even mentioned some sort of medical term for the "problem". I rank this one right up there with fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome in the medical-problems-we-didn't-know-we-had-until-a-cure-was-invented file.

Bio-Life Plasma Services: Sell your plasma (blood). Hey, you can do it twice a month and pocket a couple hundred bucks. It only takes an hour each time and, let's face it, all you're doing is eating Ramen and watching a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants episodes. I have a feeling that business has definitely increased at places like this because two of the most popular ways for college kids to earn cash easily is to donate sperm or sell plasma - now those trends have just moved on to the general population.

ComputerTraining.com: In just 6 months you can become a certified IT Professional. It's easy and you'll become that person at your office who is irreplaceable. Wow, I didn't know that I could learn everything there is to know about PCs and the technology that supports them in a mere six months. Hell, I'm going to their website right now because I believe every claim I hear on the radio and if they have a website it lends that much more credibility to their business model.

And there are tons of others, too, who are taking advantage both of the rock-bottom ad rates on radio and the gullibility of Americans. Then there's Google AdSense. Since when has Google spent a dime to advertise anywhere?

But the best advertising is word of mouth and that's apparently how people find MinnPics. Awesome photos all about Minnesota!

A diet consisting of cookies?

It seems almost every day that I hear some jackass on the radio spewing forth his marketing message for the "Smart For Life Cookie Diet". This leads me to believe two things: 1.)Radio has fallen on hard times and accepted the lowest forms of advertising. 2.)This company has entirely too many suckers buying its brand of bullshit.

Looking at just the name alone and basing my judgment on that from my outsider's perspective I'd have to instantly call BULLSHIT on this one.

Upon looking further, it seems that by traditional definitions that their cookies are most definitely not classified as cookies. They sound like some horrible abomination that is created when the produce section of your favorite grocery store explodes and is immediately compressed and subsequently baked under the hot sun. These "cookies" just aren't right.



See, they look like some sort of hippie crap that even hippies wouldn't ingest

Especially disturbing is the recommendation of eating them at the rate six per day and limiting your caloric intake to 800. There just so happens to be another phrase to describe an 800 calorie per day diet.

Calista Flockhart

If it says it isn't a scam...

I received an e-mail last week one day and decided to actually open up even though I didn't recognize the sender's name. I was curious what the latest spam was that had snuck through my e-mail host's spam filter. As I read on, I knew for sure that it was a scam as I had suspected from the minute I opened it. My suspicions were confirmed because the sender never refuted my wishes that scammers be eaten by the dogs of Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick and that they suffer though an afterlife of satan himself ass-raping them for attempting to use the facade of an elderly woman to scam people out of their hard-earned money.

Here's the letter that I received. Have you ever received anything like this? Was I in the wrong to wish a violent and gruesome death on this scammer?

Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Mabel Wells I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to charity through you.You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago,after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for.I have been touched by the Lord to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity,rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard earned funds inappropriately.

I have asked the Lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has,because He is merciful. I will be going in for an operation,and I pray that I survive the operation.I have decided to WILL/Donate the sum of ($4.3million) to charity through you for the good work of the Lord, and to help the motherless,less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows.At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, due to the fact that my relatives are around me and I have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls because I deserve all the rest I can get.

Presently,I have informed my consultant about my decision in WILLING this fund to charity through you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.If you are interested in carrying out this task,i will inform my consultant, so that he can arrange the release of the funds to you. I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this,and I hope you act sincerely.I decided that 35% of this money should be taken by you from the total sum upon the sucess release of this fund, because I am now too weak and frigile to do things myself because of my cancer.

NB:I sincerely know that a lot has been written about some SCAM coming out of the world,but I assure you that this will never in any way associated with that as you will be given the right to verify this directly with the the finance company where the fund was deposited.
I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished,as I don't want anything that will Jeopardize my last wish, due to the fact that I do not want relatives or family members standing in the way of my last wish.

Your sincerely,
Mrs Mabel Wells