Advertising has apparently gotten very cheap

I know that the economy is in the crapper but it's even more apparent when you listen to the radio. The products and services advertised wouldn't be able to afford advertising unless the rates were so low and the products and services seem to be custom-tailored for a time where 3 out of 10 people are perched on the ledge ready to jump from the nearest tall building. But what about the products? What are they and what do they promise?

Quietus: A product, in a chewable pill, that eliminates the ringing in your ears caused by machinery, electronic devices and loud music. The commercial even mentioned some sort of medical term for the "problem". I rank this one right up there with fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome in the medical-problems-we-didn't-know-we-had-until-a-cure-was-invented file.

Bio-Life Plasma Services: Sell your plasma (blood). Hey, you can do it twice a month and pocket a couple hundred bucks. It only takes an hour each time and, let's face it, all you're doing is eating Ramen and watching a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants episodes. I have a feeling that business has definitely increased at places like this because two of the most popular ways for college kids to earn cash easily is to donate sperm or sell plasma - now those trends have just moved on to the general population.

ComputerTraining.com: In just 6 months you can become a certified IT Professional. It's easy and you'll become that person at your office who is irreplaceable. Wow, I didn't know that I could learn everything there is to know about PCs and the technology that supports them in a mere six months. Hell, I'm going to their website right now because I believe every claim I hear on the radio and if they have a website it lends that much more credibility to their business model.

And there are tons of others, too, who are taking advantage both of the rock-bottom ad rates on radio and the gullibility of Americans. Then there's Google AdSense. Since when has Google spent a dime to advertise anywhere?

But the best advertising is word of mouth and that's apparently how people find MinnPics. Awesome photos all about Minnesota!

What content makes you popular?

My job entails a shitload of crunching analytical data for various accounts and tweaking variables to make the world function properly so as boring as it may sound, numbers are interesting to me and what works best and draws the most interaction can be huge - both in terms of popularity and dollars.

That's why, from time to time, I make it a point to check which blog content here has performed best.

It's no surprise that in the little over two years I have been using this particular software on this blog that I have derived approximately half of my traffic due to the popularity of camel toe, nipples and ass - particularly Kim Kardashian's ass and the 2008 Beijing Olympics and the proliferation of camel toe and nipples which is almost exclusive to beach volleyball and gymnastics.

If you're curious, here are the top posts (from my top ten sources of traffic)

1) From came toe to nipples, olympics are the place

4) I'm on camel toe patrol

5) Welcome to China, nipple capital of the world

7) Kim Kardashian and her ass will dance

8) Extreme trailer house makeover

9) Mix American Diner, Chaska, MN

10) Nursing home abuse and the dad who defends it

So, what I glean from this is that well over half of the traffic I receive must be from doctors and clothing designers because who else wold be interested in camel toe, nipples and ass? I've also learned that, in all seriousness, you tend to get most of your long-term traffic from the state in which you reside. I lean, for the most part, heavily Minnesotan with my content and the post about the nursing home abuse in Albert Lea, MN did get picked up somewhere nationally so writing about what you know (I'm originally from the Austin-Albert Lea area) works. Maybe I'll write about farming or my garden because I do know both of those topics quite well. What would you like to see here? More sex and light-heartedness or more topical content?

Or just more mentioning of the kick-ass photos at MinnPics. All Minnesota - guaranteed!

It's hip to be square

I'll start by apologizing for actually writing that title. I feel dirty. And lame. But mostly lame. Secondly, Costco (the alternate universe's version of Sam's Club for those unfamiliar with it) rolled out (not really) one gallon milk containers in a square format.

I guess before I go in to how uber creepy it is to drink liquids out of a square container, I'll applaud them for doing what has been done with half gallon cartons (made out of waxed cardboard, remember?) for as long as I've graced this earth with my presence. It makes sense, hell, now I'll be able to cram about six gallons of milk on to one of those funky split shelves in my stainless steel Amana ice box as opposed to four and change before this "innovation". (But where is the spout? I smell a "Good Question", DeRusha.)

But now for what it creeps me out. Square shapes creep the shit out of me. Humans aren't square. Cows aren't square. Why should humans ingest something from a cow which is conveyed in what is essentially a square container? It just isn't natural. It's sort of like square watermelons.

Even Katie Couric gets it

It seems that the mighty (to print media anyhow) Associated Press has done more than ruffle some feathers (h/t) of bloggers and other online media outlets by using their dinosaur-like clout to sue for what is deemed by their own copyright terms as fair use. Apparently the AP would rather maintain a death grip on their member-generated content than allow it to gain wider exposure via outlets where revenue generation is basically non-existent.

I'm not going to claim to know everything about the business model of the Associated Press but from my dealings with them at my former employer they essentially act as a distribution/gathering medium for content used in/created by daily newspapers. The member newspapers contribute stories relevant to wider distribution to the AP and receive a "wire" feed electronically consisting of content from any number of categories with their continuing membership dues. The AP, in turn, distributes content received via both the direct wire feed to newspapers, a top secret web service for stories, photos and graphics and also to their own website. I know they do have their own stable of reporters but the number to me is unknown. Locally in Minneapolis, the AP head honcho is Dave Pyle and my dealings with him were always more on the tech side and finding out the he is also the local bureau chief makes him a jack of all trades and leads me to believe that they (AP) run with a rather lean staff.

The thing that I am confused about is how the AP can claim that even citing a quote violates their copyright when buried deep in their legalese is language stating that citing a quote is fine and jim-dandy. I am well aware that the AP is simply trying to protect their revenue stream but getting more sets of eyeballs in front of your content (and then monetizing it via advertising) seems to be the traditional way of surviving in the online world. Avid readers wanting more than the quote cited on a blog or other website will amazingly click a link to find the rest of the story.

As for diminishing the value of their created or gathered content, they don't need to worry if they offer additional content above and beyond that enhances the reader experience. A photo slideshow, some audio or video and you've got your bases covered (and if cheery little Katie Couric is game, you should be too). Wake the hell up Associated Press, the written word isn't exactly everything.

How to know when you've "made it"

There have been a few times in the past when I've contemplated on the meaning of "it" and exactly what "it" is. Usually I rely on some lyrics from an old tune by "Faith No More". This (almost) isn't one of those times.

Earlier this afternoon, as I snugged my earbuds into my ears (obviously, where else do you think I'd put them? -- wait, don't answer that.) I heard my noontime friend Dan Cole mentioning a familiar name. (No, it wasn't mine) It was the name of a writer whose website I frequent. It was none other than Joe Peacock (aka Joe The Peacock). The attention he was getting during this noon hour was due to a blog post of his related to "The Etymology of Human Male Non-Verbal Communications (or, Why Men Fist-Bump)". I immediately read Joe's post in its entirety for two reasons. (Incidentally, being mentioned on 50,000 watts of AM radio on the opposite end of the country is knowing someone has made it. So if you were waiting for the gist of the story, you found it. If you want to know more, read on.)

The first reason I read it was because I am always curious what Joe Peacock has to say as his writing here is some of the best I've ever read when it comes to short stories. The second reason for me instant curiosity is that I'm vehemently opposed to fist bumping. It's an abnoxious rite of being a man that I have stood by and only slipped up on one time and the empty bottle of Jack Daniels will tell you exactly why I slipped up. Obviously I was not alone in my curiosity judging by the number of comments Mr. Peacock's post received.

Am I alone in the readership here in this little slice of heaven in hating the fist bump? Hopefully, dear fist bumpers of the world, I have made you rethink this childish man tradition. Go do something more productive like farting in your buddy's face like us mature guys do.

On being a misfit (of sorts)

Many of my friends would describe me as being unique, different or even weird. I don't know whether it's my own personal style that they find interesting/weird or the fact that I am, by nature, out of the mainstream.

Sure, plenty of folks own a computer, the latest surveys have that percentage pegged at 89% of American households being in possession of a computer but I am not a PC guy. I despise the beige towers of days past and prefer the Mac. That probably has something to do with my graphic design and photography work. Macs just work better but that comes at a price -- literally -- they cost more too. (And I am drooling over all the new Mac stuff announced Tuesday...)

Music tastes are another thing. While everyone was still mourning the slow death of grunge in the early/mid 90s, I had never liked it and instead moved on to Weezer and, as I've described earlier, a wealth of music described as "alternative". I'd rather listen to a plethora of music from a variety of sources that tune in to the local Top 40 radio staton and be fed a repetitive playlist of the same 15 "artists" on a 90 minute loop.

Then there is my style of dress. Sure, lately I've been sporting a fauxhawk from time to time (alright, almost every day since before Halloween), haven't drug a comb through my locks since sometime in the last century and while I don't shop at thrift shops, my style says I don't exactly conform to what society as a whole would expect but I do dress appropriately for what is expected of an up-and-coming twenty-something designer who stays on the cutting edge of design trends but feels that a tie would severly stifle one's creativity.

With all that out of the way, what trends do you follow and what trends do you go against the grain of?