I've been battling it for the better part of two decades. Sure, I've had glasses since I began 6th grade but I chalk that one up to genetics because when everyone of my aunts and uncles on both sides of my family - as well as my parents - has glasses it's inevitable that I'd eventually have them too. But having vision problems does not a nerd make. I also have a rather odd - to some - collection which my old lady has relegated to an upstairs closet in the far back of the house.
That collection consists of hundreds of miniature collectible tractors (cut me some slack, I'm a farm kid at heart - remember?). It took me 10-15 years to amass that collection and nearly weekly she asks me what I plan on doing with all those damn toys in the future. First off, they are not mere toys, I don't play with them like I would Legos if I was still in possession of Legos. The rowdy nephews don't get to play with my collectibles when they come by to visit and generally messy-up our house. And finally, they ARE NOT TOYS. They are worth more than my old car which she urged me to sell last fall. They are worth more than our shitty couch in the living room. Those fucking MINIATURE FARM COLLECTIBLES are an investment as well as a hobby. And when I finally hit the big time and we can build a house to our liking in the country so I can have my very own anger shed (a topic for another day) those collectibles will have their proper display room. But until then they'll have to reside in that dark closet where their beauty goes unappreciated.
Of course my oddness also extends to TV. Sunday night, when I should have been tidying up the living room and heading upstairs to brush my teeth, I found a documentary of sorts on CNBC about MacIntosh/Apple Computer. Yeah, I was actually watching something on CNBC and I sat for 45 minutes fixated on this rather compelling story about why there is such huge fandom surrounding Apple Computers. And I totally got it. I understood where the people interviewed were coming from. I could actually relate to these relative outcasts of society. Now I wouldn't camp out waiting for an Apple Store to open but I would love to attend MacWorld even now that Apple doesn't exhibit there or unveil products during the show each year.
And even more on the TV front, I own the complete series DVD box set of "Sports Night". Do you remember that show? It wasn't quite a drama but it was 30 minutes long but it also wasn't a comedy. It was a genre-bending masterpiece from Aaron Sorkin. It featured Felicity Huffman before she was a desperate housewife. It was relateable because it let viewers decide when to laugh because unlike its late-90s counterparts there was no laughtrack or studio audience. That series was like scripted gold.
Then there's "Lost". I can't take full responsibility for what became an almost obsession with that series. I didn't even watch the first couple of episodes of "Lost" but bored for something to unwind to, my old lady - soon after our wedding - sat down one Wednesday night in our smallish apartment to watch whatever was on. Being as I had no cable TV at the time, the offerings were limited but we caught a repeat of the premiere episode of "Lost" and I haven't missed an episode since. It's a given that nothing will get done around the house when "Lost" is on. I've collected each of the five seasons on DVD and am currently nearing the end of the second season as I try to pack in as much viewing as possible before the series ends in May. It's captivating because the story hops all over the place and spans not just thirty years but a couple of centuries as we found out at the end of the fifth season. The mysteries have me nearly obsessed the day after the show airs and while plenty of people will try to replicate this series, nobody ever will because it's the original and you can never beat the original.
And to further expand on my nerdishness, I also blog. Not just here but also maintain MinnPics which features awesome photos from around the great state of Minnesota.
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Monday, March 10, 2008
Don't run from your roots
Yesterday we went on a raod trip of sorts. Sure, it wasn't to see an enormous ball of twine of Austin, MN's famed SPAM Museum but it was to see a sort of mecca for me.
Yes, we drove way the fuck out to Hutchinson, Minnesota to visit the McLeod County Fairgrounds. Now you may be wondering just why we would drive all that distance on a perfectly fine Sunday afternoon in the dead of March to visit a county fairgrounds in the middle of nowhere while the grounds are still covered with piles of snow.
The reason was toys. More specifically, Ertl brand toys.
It turns out that I had noticed a small advertisement last week about a farm toy show and being that we had the time we also made the drive.
As a bit of background for those of you who don't already know, I grew up on an actual working farm just a handful of miles from the very SPAM Museum I mentioned. Being that I was a true-blue farm boy, my parents instilled in me the fact that the best toys were farm toys. My dad bought them at area farm equipment dealers for me, my mom placed requests for them on my Christmas list and some of my hard-earned money was spent at a local -- get this -- farm toy store in, of all places, Iowa (it worked because we lived about 8 miles from Iowa).
As I got a bit older, my dad reluctantly took me on a few cold winter weekends to some farm toy shows. They were held within easy driving distance at county fairground arenas and hotel conference centers and for this farm kid, it was heaven.
Yesterday was no different. I wandered up and down the aisles of the rather busy fairgrounds arena in Hutchinson as the missus followed behind -- indulging what seemed to her an odd way to spend a Sunday. To me it seemed perfectly normal. The only thing that was out of the norm was the fact that I did not spend one single dime. I perused large collections, pricing things I knew I still had squrreled away at my parents' house and drooled over how the new toys are so much more detailed and intricate than those of days past. I jokingly asked for a couple thousand dollars to fill out the missing years in my collection as we left the arena and stopped for snacks at the nearest Casey's General Store.
This marked the end of our Sunday trek. I embraced my roots and as I scanned the radio, it stopped on a radio station playing some polka music. It was time for the wife to embrace her roots.
It made me wonder how many more closeted farm toy collectors there are in the world. Do they read this blog? What are some of the hobbies of the readers here? Did I see any of you in Hutchinson this weekend?
Yes, we drove way the fuck out to Hutchinson, Minnesota to visit the McLeod County Fairgrounds. Now you may be wondering just why we would drive all that distance on a perfectly fine Sunday afternoon in the dead of March to visit a county fairgrounds in the middle of nowhere while the grounds are still covered with piles of snow.
The reason was toys. More specifically, Ertl brand toys.
It turns out that I had noticed a small advertisement last week about a farm toy show and being that we had the time we also made the drive.
As a bit of background for those of you who don't already know, I grew up on an actual working farm just a handful of miles from the very SPAM Museum I mentioned. Being that I was a true-blue farm boy, my parents instilled in me the fact that the best toys were farm toys. My dad bought them at area farm equipment dealers for me, my mom placed requests for them on my Christmas list and some of my hard-earned money was spent at a local -- get this -- farm toy store in, of all places, Iowa (it worked because we lived about 8 miles from Iowa).
As I got a bit older, my dad reluctantly took me on a few cold winter weekends to some farm toy shows. They were held within easy driving distance at county fairground arenas and hotel conference centers and for this farm kid, it was heaven.
Yesterday was no different. I wandered up and down the aisles of the rather busy fairgrounds arena in Hutchinson as the missus followed behind -- indulging what seemed to her an odd way to spend a Sunday. To me it seemed perfectly normal. The only thing that was out of the norm was the fact that I did not spend one single dime. I perused large collections, pricing things I knew I still had squrreled away at my parents' house and drooled over how the new toys are so much more detailed and intricate than those of days past. I jokingly asked for a couple thousand dollars to fill out the missing years in my collection as we left the arena and stopped for snacks at the nearest Casey's General Store.
This marked the end of our Sunday trek. I embraced my roots and as I scanned the radio, it stopped on a radio station playing some polka music. It was time for the wife to embrace her roots.
It made me wonder how many more closeted farm toy collectors there are in the world. Do they read this blog? What are some of the hobbies of the readers here? Did I see any of you in Hutchinson this weekend?
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Only a prick would ban dildos
After reading this Slate story on the illegality of "toys of sexual gratification" (you know what I mean) in states such as Texas (wow, what a shocker) and Mississippi (color me surprised) to name a couple, I got to snooping about dumb laws still on the books in Minnesota.
I only found two that were peculiar to me. Apparently both the act of oral sex and sleeping naked are just cause for legal action in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Why is that? Were old-timey Minnesotans straight-up prudes or did a couple of lawmakers have a grudge to settle with someone? What would cause a politician (likely sporting a stove pipe hat) to think that sleeping without 'yer wool jammies was cause for some jail time? Did his wife have a case of ice ass or had he caught a glimpse of his next door neighbor getting a late-night cup of water from the backyard well?
As for the oral sex one, maybe said politician's wife had a fondness for performing the act but she also had the unfortunate habit of involving her teeth as well. What better way to avoid some awkwardness than flat out banning the very act where the end result would have been the very reason to invent the Band-Aid?
But back to Texas. Are the prudes in the land of cowboys really so insecure that they think their wives may be wooed away by a piece of carefully shaped plastic? Seriously Texans, I've heard ads on the radio right here in the Twin Cities for honest to gosh stores (The Smitten Kitten) selling "fun toys for her" or some other slyly worded marketing line. That fact alone should convince folks in The Lonestar State to throw caution to the wind and allow "pleasurable toys" to be sold. If for no other reason than the sales tax alone.
Think of all the lonely ladies wearing Wrangler jeans and girly cowboy hats that would stroll through the doors of their friendly neighborhood "marital aids" shop for a little something to tide them over while their big burly man of a man spent a couple long weeks riding the range roping steers.
Just think, too, about not having to explain to her cowboy husband all the odd out-of-state charges to their Lonestar Bank Visa for items that would make the Wrangler-wearing cowgirl blush. Factor in the convenience and it's a no-brainer. If only women in these states would finally be given the right to vote.
I have to wonder if I've overlooked any stupid laws. Have any of you ever been cited for something so stupid it made you ask the officer if he was serious? Have you frequented Minneapolis' "Smitten Kitten"?
I only found two that were peculiar to me. Apparently both the act of oral sex and sleeping naked are just cause for legal action in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Why is that? Were old-timey Minnesotans straight-up prudes or did a couple of lawmakers have a grudge to settle with someone? What would cause a politician (likely sporting a stove pipe hat) to think that sleeping without 'yer wool jammies was cause for some jail time? Did his wife have a case of ice ass or had he caught a glimpse of his next door neighbor getting a late-night cup of water from the backyard well?
As for the oral sex one, maybe said politician's wife had a fondness for performing the act but she also had the unfortunate habit of involving her teeth as well. What better way to avoid some awkwardness than flat out banning the very act where the end result would have been the very reason to invent the Band-Aid?
But back to Texas. Are the prudes in the land of cowboys really so insecure that they think their wives may be wooed away by a piece of carefully shaped plastic? Seriously Texans, I've heard ads on the radio right here in the Twin Cities for honest to gosh stores (The Smitten Kitten) selling "fun toys for her" or some other slyly worded marketing line. That fact alone should convince folks in The Lonestar State to throw caution to the wind and allow "pleasurable toys" to be sold. If for no other reason than the sales tax alone.
Think of all the lonely ladies wearing Wrangler jeans and girly cowboy hats that would stroll through the doors of their friendly neighborhood "marital aids" shop for a little something to tide them over while their big burly man of a man spent a couple long weeks riding the range roping steers.
Just think, too, about not having to explain to her cowboy husband all the odd out-of-state charges to their Lonestar Bank Visa for items that would make the Wrangler-wearing cowgirl blush. Factor in the convenience and it's a no-brainer. If only women in these states would finally be given the right to vote.
I have to wonder if I've overlooked any stupid laws. Have any of you ever been cited for something so stupid it made you ask the officer if he was serious? Have you frequented Minneapolis' "Smitten Kitten"?
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