Turtle’s Bar & Grill - Shakopee, MN

Turtle’s Bar & Grill - Shakopee, MN
Lunch
11:45 AM Thursday
$7.95 menu price

The burger itself was obviously something pulled from a case of frozen hamburger patties. Irregularly shaped to appear like it was hand-pattied but the straight edges were a dead giveaway. The ⅓ lb. hamburger patty was decently seasoned -- I know I detected a bit of pepper on the meat which wasn't extraordinarily juicy but also wasn't dry -- an admirable feat for a well-done burger.

Sitting in the bar area, Turtle’s was rather vacant at lunch. I would assume most of the lunch hours are similarly sparse and despite the fact that it’s a bar it would be a fine place to go with the wife and kids and a welcome alternative to someplace like Applebee’s. Turtle’s offers a full and varied menu of sandwiches, hamburgers, pizzas (a full bar, too) and more so it would be hard to strike out for people of any age.

The pub-style hamburger bun (no sesame seeds here) at Turtle’s in Shakopee was lightly toasted (probably put on the griddle for toasting) and brushed with butter. While this was a nice touch as it prevents the bun from getting soggy from whatever toppings (think lettuce, tomatoes, etc.) are ordered, it also caused the top of the bun to become somewhat dry as well which left my side of the table covered with crumbs (an embarrassment if you care about being tidy, which I don't).

Overall, the hamburger hit the spot that particular day as it got me out of the office for lunch but the $7.95 price could be adjusted down a bit (50 cents probably wouldn’t make or break Turtle’s Bar & Grill).

 ⅘ stars

If you are interested in a coupon for Turtle's Bar and Grill in Shakopee, check out the one below.

I've been drinking my whisky all wrong

According to this fine apparently British gentleman who knows his way around whisky, I've been drinking it all wrong. Sure, I probably scared a few of you off by saying that the video below entire about properly tasting and sampling your fine whisky is done by a British man but this guy has a sense of humor and knows his way around his scotch and whisky. I would love to hang out with Richard Paterson because he knows his liquor and would teach even the most hardened whisky drinker a thing or two about how to properly taste whicky and truly enjoy it. One hint, avoid the ice!

Candy Corn flavored Oreos - review

The attractive packaging of the Candy Corn Oreo package
lures you in.

In one word, the new Candy Corn flavored Oreos -- billed as a limited edition -- are terrible. Reproducing the sugary concoction known as Candy Corn as a creamy filling is a mistake to say the least. First off, we all know that Oreos are two chocolate-flavored wafers with white cream sandwiched between them. The first mistake is that the Candy Corn flavored Oreos use the relatively new golden wafer which is strangely sweeter than its chocolate counterpart.

I first gave one of these cookies to my wife. After seeing them in my Target back after work today she asked if they were for her. After this initial sampling I can safely say that she can have the rest of the package but given her own opinion of the orange and white creme filled abominations someone else with a less fickle cookie palate will have to eat these tiny travesties.

Once opened, the Candy Corn Oreos
immediately disappoint with sloppy
production and a mere 21 cookies, or as I call it,
three servings.

As my wife slowly chewed her Candy Corn flavored Oreo, she was obviously using each and every last tastebud to better offer up her opinion on the flavor she was experiencing. After fully chewing and swallowing the cookie she described it as "Plasticy with a sort of alcoholic rum taste." She went on to rhetorically ask "What were they thinking?" And also mentioned that the Candy Corn flavored Oreo was "not like Candy Corn at all."

After that verbal beatdown of Nabisco's latest ill-advised creation, I decided it was time to man up and face down this apparent mistake of a cookie.

Upon the first bite of the Candy Corn flavored Oreo I was immediately struck by the fact that it tasted like pure sugar. The closest approximation I can come up with is that it is like drinking pure concentrated Coca-Cola syrup before it gets mixed with the carbonated water except not as syrupy. I then muttered aloud that it was simply "too sweet" which, given my sweet tooth, seems impossible.

After I decided to just finish the rest of what I knew was a misguided purchase I noticed that the taste of the Candy Corn flavored Oreo lingers and no amount of time and water seems to eliminate the taste from my mouth. In the end this single cookie was actually so sweet that it made my stomach hurt.

If you're still brave enough to purchase Candy Corn flavored Oreos, they can be found at Target stores (and likely many more national and regional retailers) for $2.99. The biggest drawback, though, is the fact that the $2.99 price tag nets you a mere 21 cookies. Yep, that's seven tiny cookies for $1.00. For that price it seems like I bought them at Super America instead of Target. But at least the packaging is cool.

Mr. Pig Stuff BBQ Restaurant - Shakopee, MN

The BBQ pulled pork sandwich from Mr. Pig Stuff restaurant in Shakopee, MN

The potato chips from Mr. Pig Stuff restaurant in Shakopee, MN

Mr. Pig Stuff, a Shakopee BBQ restaurant which recently re-opened in a larger location on Highway 101 / 1st Avenue on Shakopee's eastern side next to Dangerfield's Restaurant (approximately 1 block east of Marschall Rd.) has put itself in an excellent position for growth. Having established themselves at their former location in western Shakopee and offering only walk-up and drive-thru orders, the new location is, in one word, huge.

The former Panzanella Restaurant (now home to Mr. Pig Stuff), nestled between Taco Loco and Dangerfield's Restaurant doesn't look large from the outside but on the inside now offers a salad bar, full line of Coke products with complimentary refills and seating, at my best estimate, for approximately 75 or more patrons.

Building on Mr. Pig Stuff's always delicious BBQ offerings (the pulled pork sandwich is my favorite -- they also offer half and whole beer can chickens, beef brisket, ribs, etc.) the Shakopee restaurant has expanded on their side dish offerings. I have always opted for french fries but when my basket arrived at our table this evening I was greeted with a dish of cole slaw as well. My daughter, being hard to please sometimes, had chicken strips, mac and cheese and a few other offerings to choose form but opted for the grown-up size cheeseburger. Weighing in at what had to be 1/3 lb. or more, this hand-pattied beauty was nicely seasoned with something I couldn't quite nail down. Maybe it was a bit of a spicier rub they made up specially for their new hamburgers and cheeseburgers but my nearly four year-old daughter did mention that it was really spicy. She instead shared in some of the succulent pork from her mom and dad's sandwiches but she did love the "potato chips" that came with the order.

The potato chips, a new side to go with the new location, were amazing. Seasoned with the same spice mixture Mr. Pig Stuff uses as a dry rub on their smoked meats, these potato chips were -- as explained to me -- something they experimented with by simply slicing potatoes the long way (approximately 1/8" thick), frying them and sprinkling them with their amazing dry rub which had a hint of brown sugar as a nice surprise.

All told, in the BBQ community, Mr. Pig Stuff has an excellent handle on their recipes. The service is fast with items prepared to order. The core of the staff is still all family members and the welcome addition of the much-needed inside seating should keep a steady stream of lunch-time workers coming through the doors with families keeping the place busy during other hours. The decor features plenty of Iowa Hawkeye memorabilia, two (or three) large televisions which tonight were tuned to the Green Bay Packers game and with the coming addition of beer Mr. Pig Stuff will have a leg up on their cross-town BBQ restaurant competition (Dickey's BBQ Pit in Shakopee's Southbridge area).

All told, I will definitely be back either during the workweek for a hearty lunch or on the weekend with the family. The best touch, though, was the cashier not only asking my daughter her name as we ordered but remembering it as we left the restaurant. Very nice.

Mr. Pig Stuff BBQ Restaurant
1561 1st Ave E
Shakopee MN 55379
952-233-7306
Mon - Sat 11:00 AM - 9:00 PM
Sun 12:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Red Velvet Funnel Cake - Minnesota State Fair Food

red velvet funnel cake, a photo by the queen of subtle on Flickr.

The red velvet funnel cake - a tasty food item at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair - looks like the perfect sugary treat to pair with some fresh milk from the dairy booth.

The Minnesota State Fair and its excess of new fair foods runs through Labor Day in Falcon Heights, MN.

Ragin Cajun Breakfast Sliders - Minnesota State Fair food

Ragin Cajun Breakfast Sliders: a ton of food for $5. Quite good. @MinnStateFair, a photo by Bill.Roehl on Flickr.

Ragin Cajun Breakfast Sliders: a ton of food for $5. Quite good. (As described by local foodie Bill Roehl.)

This nicely portioned breakfast sandwich reminds be of the mammoth $2.60 breakfast burrito I had a month ago at the Winnebago Cafe in Winnebago, MN. Can't wait for another one of those in a few weeks.

The Minnesota State Fair, complete with its abundance of calorie-laden food and treats, runs through Labor Day.

For a complete review of the new food available at the Minnesota State Fair, click here to read the most official take on Minnesota State Fair food from the area expert.

Raging Ankles at Famous Dave - Minnesota State Fair food

Raging' Ankles at Famous Dave ($6) are chewy and mostly tasteless. Why bother with habaneros if you're not gonna have any heat?, a photo by Bill.Roehl on Flickr.

Raging' Ankles at Famous Dave ($6) are, as Bill Roehl says, chewy and mostly tasteless. Why bother with habaneros if you're not gonna have any heat?

Famous Dave's Raging Ankles are just one of many new food treats available at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair which runs through Labor Day.

For a complete write-up of the new food available at the Minnesota State Fair, click here to read the most official take on Minnesota State Fair food from the area expert.

Ole's Cannoli - Minnesota State Fair food

Ole's Cannoli ($4.50 with chocolate chips). Pedestrian, flavorless and boring. Proof Minnesotans cannot make a decent cannoli., a photo by Bill.Roehl on Flickr.

Ole's Cannoli ($4.50 with chocolate chips). Local blogger Bill Roehl calls it "Pedestrian, flavorless and boring. Proof Minnesotans cannot make a decent cannoli."

Ole's Cannoli is just one of many new food creations available at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair which runs through Labor Day.

This is over 4x the price of the cannolis sold at my brother-in-law's pizza restaurant and this doesn't look half as appetizing as his.

For a complete review of the new food available at the Minnesota State Fair, click here to read the most official take on Minnesota State Fair food from the area expert.

Duke's Poutine ($5) - Minnesota State Fair food

Duke's Poutine ($5) Not bad., a photo by Bill.Roehl on Flickr.

Duke's Poutine - costing a mere $5 - is considered "not bad" by local blogger and foodie Bill Roehl.

Duke's Poutine is just one of many new food creations available at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair which runs through Labor Day.

For a complete review of the new food available at the Minnesota State Fair, click here to read the most official take on Minnesota State Fair food from the area expert. 

Minnesota Wine Country's Antipasto - Minnesota State Fair food

Minnesota Wine Country's Antipasto ($9). Nice cheeses and olives., a photo by Bill.Roehl on Flickr.

Minnesota Wine Country's Antipasto ($9). Nice cheeses and olives. Just a sampling of the new food available at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair.

For a complete review of the new food available at the Minnesota State Fair, click here to read the most official take on Minnesota State Fair food from the area expert.

Episode One of The River on ABC - worth watching

Yes, The River on ABC is a limited run (8 episodes) series but after watching the first two episodes last night I have to say that I am intrigued by the story which The River has to tell. It has elements of Lost, The Blair Witch Project, The Shining and Paranormal Activity to it. It's a found-footage concept which may or may not have been overdone in recent years but still works because viewers know that there is likely an endpoint to The River.

The central story is about the mysterious disappearance of Dr. Emmet Cole who, for over 20 years, was the central star of a fictional nature show in which his family was heavily featured. A film crew, along with Cole's son, wife and a longtime childhood friend of Dr. Cole's son meet in the Amazon River in an attempt to locate and rescue Dr. Emmet Cole.

The River's major flaw, unfortunately, is bad acting. The British actor playing Dr. Cole's son is brutal in the delivery of his sometimes forced and cheesy lines. But what is lost in the bad acting is made up for in the suspense. Oh, sure, we see a glimpse of the spirit-like being or monster which is likely responsible for the mayhem in this uncharted area of the Amazon River but unlike Lost, which made viewers wait for what seemed like forever for an explanation or even a glimpse of the smoke monster, The River gets right down to business -- knowing that they have a mere eight hours to wrap the story up.

I wouldn't worry about The River on ABC being drawn out beyond its initial eight episode run because its lackluster ratings last night seem to indicate that it's a one and done. So sit back and enjoy the suspense which The River has to offer. It settles in to its permanent timeslot next Tuesday at 8 PM central on ABC.

The Jackass 3D trailer is amazing

I'm probably not in the demographic which the Jackass franchise is geared at but I was when the show first aired on MTV and it actually stands the test of time.

I literally laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes, not to mention those streaming down my face. It's that good.

JACKASS 3D


If this appears too classless for your refined tastes, check out the classy photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.

Get this, I had a bad frozen pizza

Not to hone in on local pizza experts (@s4xton) but I have to tell the story of last night's frozen pizza misfortune. I'll preface this by saying that I'm both cheap and tethered to a young child so eating in is the typical thing for us. I had to pick up a few groceries on my way home last evening and had been curious about DiGiorno's Pizza/Breadsticks option which they recently unveiled to grocer's freezers nationwide.

After eating it, though, I wish they'd cart them back to the pizza plant hell from which they came. First off, the price is a bit steep considering that you're getting a rather dense pizza and an additional 3/8 of a pizza crust topped with mozzarella cheeese. Oh, who can forget about the miniscule bag of "marinara" sauce? That's a kick-ass bonus if ever there was one.

The pizza was disappointing and that was shocking. While a frozen pizza is what it is, DiGiorno (and its slightly superior competitor Freschetta) are the upper crust of the mass-produced frozen pizza market. The crust is fluzzy and light on the inside with a slightly crisp exterior. The pizza/breadstick combination, though, featured a dense, lifeless crust. It was heavy and thinner than usual and reminded me of a shitty take and bake mess from the Walmart "deli".

DiGiorno's breadsticks weren't half bad but they came out almost crispy on the edges. I guess that this is rather unavoidable when trying to do two things at once -- usually both end up being sub-par to a certain extent. While I will usually eat half of a frozen DiGiorno (or Freschetta) pizza, I had 1.5 slices of this trainwreck. Maybe I'll get rip-roaring drunk on cheap beer Friday and finish the rest of this crap but there's a good chance that this will make its way to the garbage.

Better than garbage, though, is MinnPics. It's the best of the best of Minnesota photos and you need to check it out.