Because nobody's reading, here's my top five

Welcome, scant few readers, to this yea'rs summary of the top five posts here at A Day in the Life. It's been a strange and glorious year. 2008 had the Summer Olympics in Beijing, China. It also had a ton of increasingly insane ramblings during the summer months from yours truly. Then in April I coyly announced the impending birth of our first child. In November I asked for names and in mid-November she graced us with her presence. Oh, many points were awarded throughout the year because I'm a generous fellow. And as 2009 approaches, I am seriously considering invoking some sort of rule where I can take the points back much like a large company buying back their stock because, yes, even blogs are facing tough economic times and even facing bankruptcy.

But truly, you're here to see what the five most-clicked posts were here at Minnesota's home for random nothingness with a soul of stone, A Day in the Life. Without further ado, here we go...

#1 From camel toe to nipples, the olympics are the place
I covered the 2008 summer Olympics like a fucking blanket and in my thinking back to gymnasts with their suits too tight and bodies covered in sweat, some things, like camel toe and visible nippage, are inevitable. It was done purely as a joke in my attempt to mock the Olympics but apprently the world is full of perverts, all of whom landed here, and generated literally hundreds of thousands of page views. Thanks pervs, your traffic translated to about two bucks right here in my still empty pockets.

#2 I'm on camel toe patrol
Oddly enough, as I pored through the thousands of photos available at the NBC Olympics website, I caught zero instances of visible camel toe. Maybe the gymnasts and their Olympic cohorts are using some sort of camel toe avoiding powder or spray but their spandex suits just weren't sucking up into their most intimate of places. It still generated a fuckload of traffic which proves the relevance of the Olympic games... for perverts.

#3 Welcome to China, nipple capital of the world
Yes, three of my top five posts were about a mish-mash of nipples, camel toe and the Olympics. This is where I finally dished on some of the nippage photos I unearthed. The U.S. Women's Beach Volleyball duo of Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor provided most of the material as they were probably the most photographed athletes in Beijing. Again, thanks to the perverts across these fine United States for making August a huge month!

#4 Mix American Diner, Chaska, MN
If restaurant reviews work at Lazy Lighting, why not for me? I did just one restaurant review this year and even without photos, people read it. The decor of Mix American Diner in Chaska is, for lack of a better word, awesome. If only their early attempts at food had matched. With prices truly sky high during my June (I think) visit, I was truly disappointed. Pick a damn identity, already. Your food screams diner while your prices outpace those of a chain such as Olive Garden. Hey, with the economy the way it is I'd encourage anyone still reading this to give the downtown Chaska diner a shot because I've heard that they have adjusted prices and now actually include french fries with meals deserving of them.

#5 A blog post about blogging for bloggers
I can't take anything seriously but I am also a wealth of information. That combination is what spawned this post inspired by this post. Two parts humor, one part self-deprecation, three parts untruths, mix thoroughly and keep it short. Plenty of folks read it and maybe this re-pimping of it will bring people back. Or not.

Of course, as the year draws to a close and the world crumbles around us, there's some housekeeping duties left to tend to. I still have to update all of you who don't give a crap about the 2008 Death Pool. I'm fairly certain that not a damn one of those listed on the death pool kicked it but there are probably some candidates on that list worthy of being on 2009's Death Pool.

How could I forget about something I'm actually proud of? In July I launched MinnPics because I am at least an amateur photographer and I am truly inspired by alot of what I see posted by Minnesotans on Flickr. It's going slowly but steadily as I recently added a MinnPics Flickr pool and am always looking at other ways to make this little pet of mine something more. So after you sober up, check out MinnPics because right now I'm doing a year-end wrap-up of sorts with photos and would love to have you join the Flickr pool and contribute your amazing photos to it.

A victory speech of sorts

Tonight at 7 PM, the doors of the Xcel Energy Center in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota open for what many are expecting to be a victory speech of sorts by Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

I am one of a few who feels that Obama will not go as far to brag about an outright victory in the primary and caucus circuit of 2008 but his speech once he takes the stage at The X will be one to pump up his supporters and bring Hillary supporters into the fold. I feel that Obama is above the bragging and boasting that I'm sure has been the downfall of some politicians but I'm not above predictions and crystal ball gazing.

Hillary will suspend her campaigning by the end of the week and become one of the people on Barack's short list of running mates; likely at the top. He would be doing exactly what he has promised by surrounding himself with experience and knowledge to make up for what some feel as a lack of experience from the presidential hopeful.

I do like the choice of venue for what is essentially Obama's semi-finals victory. Expect plenty of painfully minute analysis over the next few days by talking heads, heads that talk and people who have no business being in front of a camera and will refer to Obama as "that there black boy".

The BEST of the Best of the Twin Cities

It happens every year and each year it seems to have less impact; this year being no exception. City Pages, after essentially cleaning house and installing a staff of yes-men and corporate shills, published its 2008 Best of the Twin Cities issue and amazingly they got some things right (even if the readers missed the mark entirely). And by my estimations, City Pages missed the boat on publishing this beast online by about 4 hours and still managed to have a TON of missing images but onward with my best-of the best of.

Here are some staff picks I agree with in my very own 2008 Best of the Best of the Twin Cities...
Best AM Radio Personality - Dan Cole

Best Radio Station - The Current 89.3 FM

Best Non-TV Weatherperson - Jimmy "Dutch" Gaines

Best Local Website - MNSpeak

and for the sake of humor and irony...

Best Place to Get Arrested For Soliciting Sex in Public - Crosby Farm Regional Park

That last one was a mouthful (or so said the 80 year old guy arrested there).

Earn points in the 2008 death pool

Getting all wrapped up in things as 2008 begins to march forward, I felt that one last thing to start the year properly had been overlooked.

The Death Pool.

If you aren't familiar with exactly what a death pool is, it is a list of celebrities of any standing whose behavior you feel will land them six feet under in the next 12 months. Sure, I haven't ever publicly wished anyone ill will but this is fun plus if you guess correctly in the comments, you get 1,000 points*. So go nuts, rattle off a few known folks you think will kick it this year and enjoy my picks listed below.

1. Britney Spears
No explanation needed for her.

2. Amy Winehouse
It was less than a year ago that I was singing the praises of this ultra-trashy British songstress but damn, this girl knows how to take a downward spiral.

3. Wilford Brimley
If he's still alive, I think that Quaker oatmeal will be his undoing. I predict a drowning death in oatmeal after he passes out from a blood rush brought on by his obvious anger.

4. Dick Clark
Provided that he is in fact NOT a robot, he'll be taking the long dirt nap before year's end.

5. Pete Doherty
Another British rocker but I think he has actually gone over his allotted time on the big blue marble. He has done more drugs than Keith Richards and Courtney Love COMBINED but still kicks out amazing tunes. Hey, everyone is bound to punch their timecard at some time...

*Points system to be described at a later date. Points redeemable for goods to be named later. Points valid only before expiration date listed on "A Day in the Life Authentic Membership & Points Card". Points not redeemable for cash. Points may be cancelled at any time without explanation. Failure to claim points within 5 year timeframe will result in forfeiture of points. Accumulation of said points terminates with a maximum of 5,000,000.

What will 2008 hold?

As 2008 has begun in all of its shit-tastic glory, I have to wonder if the rest of the year can possibly outshine the polished turd that has been the first partial week of the new year.

There are plenty of things I have learned from the first few days of the new year that I plan on stockpiling in my "lessons learned" file.

The first lesson is that the wife's friend whose sick child had a chest-rattling broncheal cough will, regardless of distance kept, make each and every adult within 1,000 feet sick with one ailment or another. The second part of this lesson is that said mother will still refuse to take her child to a physician (a.k.a. doctor).

The second lesson is that no matter what you remember from years past, things will change in the present. Sure, I remember paying sub-$1.00 per gallon prices for gasoline but I've officially had a driver's license for, well, quite some time (since I was 15 to be honest) and even then when prices crept to about $1.30/gallon I noticed. When we bought our house and moved (just about three years ago) we were accustomed to gas prices at $1.75/gallon. Sure, today prices hover at about $3.05/gallon and, frankly, it totally sucks but I have to say that things can always be worse. We could, for instance, have to wait in line for our gas.

The third lesson is as follows... "Just be happy you have a job". It's not so much a lesson as a phrase. An overused, full of crap phrase if there ever was one. Sure, it's great to have a job but you have the right to demand better. With CEOs making exorbitant salaries (Target's CEO raked in just over $30 million in 2007), the bread and butter of their companies are getting screwed. Benefits get slashed, raises (if there are any) don't even come close to keeping up with inflation. Remember this -- to get ahead in wages, you need a huge promotion or quit and get a new job.

The fourth and final lesson is that a shiny new car is nothing but road bling. I know this because my car is 14 years old this year. Sure, it has some skin cancer and is somewhat loud but I commute and could give a shit about the looks of "Rhett". I chose the name just now because it's close to the word "wreck". It is filthy with road sult and winter sludge and I just don't care. It's far less important in terms of appearance than how one dresses or presents themselves because you can leave your car parked around the corner but you can't do that with your clothes.

My '08 laundry list

Each year people make boring as hell resolutions which they are unable to stick to for even a week. Mine aren't so much short-term goals but likely to take the entire year to work towards. Keep in mind that I thrive on chaos and this 'list' isn't exactly in any order but just how things have popped in to my head...

1. Be Inspired
Holy crap that's a vague one but as a creative pro my mind strains to come up with that next idea that's going to be huge or that next design that will bring home some sort of award to add to my wall. I add another in a few weeks but just one is never enough, my inspiration will definitely bring me more.

2. Debt
We've been working on the homestead for a few weeks on the bathroom remodel. It's rare that anyone can do a remodeling job without taking on some debt. We are no different. We also took a hit planning a vacation and buying a mid-level camera for business/personal use. Along with all of those items came debt. It's debt that can be overcome but I hate debt of any sort and I wholly plan on eliminating the debt from these three items by year's end. Boring, but necessary.
3. Income
I am pushing the missus to make employment changes. Her current job has served us well. It literally fell in to her lap when she needed a job and it's provided her with a great wealth of managerial knowledge but starting at the top doesn't exactly give you much in the way of places to climb to. Whether that means adding a refresher course to her BFA to get into her chosen field or heading down a new path is her choice but I am going to be known as "The Motivator" this year and nobody slips through the cracks on my watch.

Of course I am not going to be all drill sargeant this year and just stand on the sidelines. I plan on tackling additional ventures this year to rake in a few extra bucks. Freelancing in my profession is cutthroat and all-too-common but I am competitive as well. A guy can try!

4. Consistency
I'll post here four times each week, write my TV column twice monthly and come back from vacation with hundreds, maybe thousands, of photos which I will trickle into my Flickr account. And Fridays mean music, so get the hell used to it.

5. Fitness
I made it a goal when I set my summertime goals last May and while I didn't completely fail at getting into better shape, I didn't exactly run in the Twin Cities marathon either. I will do better this year. No more staying inside during nice weather because someone else is "bored" with going outside. The lack of new TV due to the writer's strike has shown me that TV is a damn waste of time and I'm not getting any younger.

6. Involvement
It's an election year. Blah, blah, blah. Sure, it might be a tad less exciting that laser tag but it is important. Politics, however mundane to lookers-on, play a huge role in our lives. I am already reading the answers given and stances taken by the 2008 presidential contenders and might, from time to time, point you in the direction of some of the more interesting ones this year. Don't just vote, vote informed.

There y'all have it. My goals for 2008. Will I achieve them? Read every day to find out!