2012 Vice Presidential debate drinking game

Politics is borderline tolerable if you can turn it in to a drinking game as you can with this handy 2012 Vice Presidential debate drinking game card for tonight's debate between Vice President Joe Biden and Mitt Romney's running mate Paul Ryan.

Outside of saying that you should never trust someone with two first names (I'm looking at you Paul Ryan) I will be avoiding the bickering, name-calling and dry overly long vice presidential debate tonight because these two guys are stuffed suits, talking heads and will always play second fiddle in the political circus. Biden has already had a taste of being second in command and I'm personally amazed that he hasn't made a complete ass of himself but Paul Ryan is just another career politician who just so happens to have so much faith in Romney's electability that he is campaigning heavily for his current position in Wisconsin while stumping for the Romney ticket at the same time.

But back to the drinking game. Most of the phrases directly relate to taking a mere one or two drinks but remember that if Joe Biden says "literally" you are never to drink because you die. I'd guess that's because Biden says "literally" quite alot. The most dangerous statement from Paul Ryan is him "effectively promising to bomb Iran" which, if you play by the rules, results in you having to finish whatever bottle you are drinking.

When 8 PM C/T rolls around tonight, grab your fully stocked cooler and get ready for a hangover tomorrow.

You can grab the PDF of the drinking game card right here.

Watch a dummy get blackout drunk

It's guys like t his in the video below, bonging two full cans of some God-awful blue-raspberry / gasoline flavored Four Loko that gave the blackout-inducing candy-booze a bad name. Just because you can bong it in ten seconds flat doesn't mean that you should. Something tells me that the bro who bonged the nastiest of all canned malt liquors went down for a solid 14 hour nap after this video was filmed. Or maybe this was all an elaborate ploy to get the dumb guy drunk so the other guy filming him could draw permanent marker penises on his face.

Annie Stensrud of KEYC-TV in Mankato nabbed for DWI

Annie Stensrud -- Mankato, Minnesota's favorite nationally-known newscaster -- is back in the news again. After her early-December slurred speech newscast, the KEYC-TV weekend anchor has been off the air. But this morning she made headlines again in Mankato by being arrested for a probable cause DWI near her North Mankato home by Nicollet County authorities.



When, just weeks after a newscast that went viral due to her apparent drunk performance, you land  yourself in the pages of the local newspaper for doing something (drinking and driving) which you adamantly denied in a statement released by your employer (being drunk at work), there is the makings of a pattern.

Annie Stensrud obviously has a problem. Maybe she has had a relationship turn sour and is using alcohol as a coping mechanism. Maybe there has been a death in the family which has hit her particularly hard.

Whatever the case, her original excuse of a reaction to cold medication doesn't seem to hold up given today's DWI arrest.

Maybe there's something more to the story. Check out her reporting reel/resume below and witness just how strong of a reporter she was in her days working for KAAL-TV in Austin, MN

Belle Plaine manages to come off as full of rednecks

In an overly-long FOX 9 News story proving that FOX 9 doesn't have enough real news to fill their 90 minutes of news beginning at 9 PM (below) a bunch of barhounds in the far south Twin Cities exurb of Belle Plaine found a way to be the news. Rather than use Facebook for what it has devolved in to - playing Farmville and Mob Wars - a local yokel took it upon herself to create a Facebook "Fan" page about a local bartender who is basically a prick.



I've been in that bar a few times as I celebrate St. Patrick's Day in that particular city each year but have never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. The real story here is that a bunch of disgruntled barflies have A.) too much time on their hands and B.) a serious problem with confronting problems face to face. Now, I'm not suggesting an old west type of Main St. shootout but these people need to drop the high school bullshit. This isn't a matter for the cops either - unless a true crime has been committed.

In a world where money talks, the bar patrons in and around Belle Plaine need to speak with their wallets and, if the manager/co-owner of Andy's Bar & Grill (Brian Mayrand) is as much of a dick as these people say he is, spread the word in a more civil fashion to get others to simply stop buying their drinks there. There are about a half-dozen other bars within walking distance of Andy's Bar so it's not like the town is experiencing a shortage of bars.

This all boils down to a two-sided argument where both parties have some truths to what they are saying. The bartender/owner/manager might run a tighter ship than what previously existed but he may be a total prick as well. Let's face it, that many people having similar experiences can't exactly be an elaborate conspiracy. It's also an obvious example of FOX 9 trying to be ultra-investigative and in-depth - even when the story is a non-story because let's face it, unless the bartender is stealing cash and serving and then having sex with underage girls this isn't news.

That would be like me claiming that MinnPics is all breaking news. It isn't because it's all photos of Minnesota every damn day. Check it out!

There are always rules

Any good drinking game has rules, and those cooked up a local blogger pertaining to tonight's vice-presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin will get you why-am-I-naked-in-a-tub-of-banana-pudding drunk.

Here is an excerpt...

If she challenges Biden on something that she has no intention of following through on, drink twice.

Drink everytime Biden says one of the following:
what are you talking about?
you don't understand?
don't you get it?
bitch, get in the kitchen and make me some punch and pie!

Chug 2 seconds if Palin says any of those things to Biden.

2 second chug everytime the audience laughs aloud even though they were trying really hard not to (doesn't matter what they are laughing at).

Waterfall whenever Palin refers to the Palin/McCain campaign or administration.

Find the rest here.

This just in: Brits are drunks

Just how much whiskey does the average British adult consume in a year's time?

37 bottles.

I thought that I had a fondness for whiskey and that a few of my friends can toss back the whiskey as well but to be British and live up to that statistic must actually hurt.

Sure, not every adult in merry old England enjoys the sour mash to that extent but imagine those who make up for the Brits who don't. Damn.

If you thought that the dental condition of Brits was bad, just imagine their livers. To illustrate just how much whiskey that breaks down to, imagine tossing back three pints of beer each day fo an entire year. Not just any beer though, and definitely not that namby pamby crap that passes as beer for you and me. We're talking the beer that has honest to God hops in it. The beer that may need to be chewed.

Now go drink three pints of the strongest lager you can find, and do it on a daily basis, and you'll be on par with those supposed pansy-ass Brits.

Or if wine is your thing, get drinking because simple math equates that to 189 bottles of vine-grown spirits annually.

Suddenly I feel inferior. The British are better at something than us.

Hair of the dog or something else

A conversation at the beginning of this past weekend started out with some contemplation about what the phrase 'Hair of the Dog" truly means. It quickly devolved into the topic of the beer sweats.

If you haven't experienced the oft-dreaded beer sweats, consider yourself lucky. If you have, you'll know rather quickly what it is I'm talking about.

The beer sweats, for those unfamiliar with them, come after a night of heavy drinking and sometimes last the entire next day. Despite the temperature of your surroundings throughout that next day, you'll wobble between sweating profusely and uncontrollably shaking with the worst chills you've ever experienced.

The sweating, though, is the worse half of this phenomenon.

The sweat smells like skunked beer but with that unmistakable smell of the combination of the beer from last night and the smell of the skanky bar that you got tore up at.

The conversation where this all began came to determine that Hair of the Dog could easily be Sweat of the Lush. The sweaty excrement of the dreaded day after could be consumed again and the same effect that caused Sweat of the Lush could then be achieved simply by wrapping most of your body in Saran Wrap, sweating it out and lapping the sweat up from the plastic wrap and enjoying a free re-tanking experience.

If you're wondering the locale of this conversation, it was, of course, a smaller suburb where we began a weekend of consumption.

Have you experienced this phenomenon? Do tell...