It's guys like t his in the video below, bonging two full cans of some God-awful blue-raspberry / gasoline flavored Four Loko that gave the blackout-inducing candy-booze a bad name. Just because you can bong it in ten seconds flat doesn't mean that you should. Something tells me that the bro who bonged the nastiest of all canned malt liquors went down for a solid 14 hour nap after this video was filmed. Or maybe this was all an elaborate ploy to get the dumb guy drunk so the other guy filming him could draw permanent marker penises on his face.
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Patricia Heaton's Sandra Fluke apology means nothing
How little does Patricia Heaton matter in the world of celebrities? It took until noon today, after the aging former co-star of "Everyone Loves Raymond" spouted off over the weekend about college student Sandra Fluke testifying about insurance companies needing to cover birth control for students, for me to even hear about the aging has-been opening her stupid mouth.
I agree with the testimony of Sandra Fluke, insurance companies would be wise to cover birth control options for both women and men (yeah, that means vasectomies, guys). There are plenty of insurance companies who do not provide that coverage -- sometimes costing as little as ten dollars per month -- for women. And the women seeking it out are more often than not in relationships and are obviously capable of making smart decisions. The world doesn't need tens of thousands of unplanned pregnancies which tend to result in births which just so happen to be covered by insurance companies and cost them well over $10,000. Simple math says that any smart insurance company could afford to provide a few hundred months of birth control for women before they equal the cost of covering one birth.
It's easy for someone as disconnected from reality as Patricia Heaton, living on royalties from the 90s sitcom she was a part of, to rattle off a few poor attempts at jokes at the expense of Sandra Fluke who was brave enough and believed in her convictions enough to go out in public and testify before congress about her beliefs -- a belief that insurance companies who just so happen to cover the cost of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, allowing older guys to sport more wood than a lumberyard and harrass their aging wives for some sexing; should actually cover a medicine that improves the lives of women. And yes, I know all about the condom option but I'm sure there are plenty of women who, just like guys, don't want to deal with the perceived hassle and would rather take the responsibility of safe sex in their own hands.
Maybe Patricia Heaton has begun to learn that she isn't going to see eye to eye with others on the topic of birth control. Maybe Patricia Heaton just heard about the idiotic and intentional controversy stirred up by Viagra abuser Rush Limbaugh and decided to pile on. Or maybe Patricia Heaton is just an ignorant D-list Hollywood celebrity nearing the end of her viability who just wants to keep her name in the pages of the media.
I agree with the testimony of Sandra Fluke, insurance companies would be wise to cover birth control options for both women and men (yeah, that means vasectomies, guys). There are plenty of insurance companies who do not provide that coverage -- sometimes costing as little as ten dollars per month -- for women. And the women seeking it out are more often than not in relationships and are obviously capable of making smart decisions. The world doesn't need tens of thousands of unplanned pregnancies which tend to result in births which just so happen to be covered by insurance companies and cost them well over $10,000. Simple math says that any smart insurance company could afford to provide a few hundred months of birth control for women before they equal the cost of covering one birth.
It's easy for someone as disconnected from reality as Patricia Heaton, living on royalties from the 90s sitcom she was a part of, to rattle off a few poor attempts at jokes at the expense of Sandra Fluke who was brave enough and believed in her convictions enough to go out in public and testify before congress about her beliefs -- a belief that insurance companies who just so happen to cover the cost of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, allowing older guys to sport more wood than a lumberyard and harrass their aging wives for some sexing; should actually cover a medicine that improves the lives of women. And yes, I know all about the condom option but I'm sure there are plenty of women who, just like guys, don't want to deal with the perceived hassle and would rather take the responsibility of safe sex in their own hands.
Maybe Patricia Heaton has begun to learn that she isn't going to see eye to eye with others on the topic of birth control. Maybe Patricia Heaton just heard about the idiotic and intentional controversy stirred up by Viagra abuser Rush Limbaugh and decided to pile on. Or maybe Patricia Heaton is just an ignorant D-list Hollywood celebrity nearing the end of her viability who just wants to keep her name in the pages of the media.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Charlie Sheen will be dead within the year?
No matter how hard he apparently tries to wipe himself from the face of the Earth, Charlie Sheen simply won't go the fuck away. Whether it's weekend-long cocaine benders or drinking more booze in a day that most Irish villages consume in a decade, Charlie Sheen just won't get his drunk ass out of the spotlight.
Of course it all sort of came to a head last week when he called out his show's (Two and a Half Men) creator/producer Chuck Lorre as taking advantage of him. Of course that wasn't enough for the likely crazy and/or coked-up Sheen -- he went on to reveal Chuck Lorre's Hebrew name (in a rather ethnic-clurry kind of way) as Chaim Levine. The jury's still out on whether or not that part's even true but he ventured down the Mel Gibson Expressway with a borderline ethnic slur. And so what if Lorre changed his name for showbiz purposes -- Charlie Sheen's real name is actually Carlos Estevez. But crazy druggie Charlie Sheen wasn't done yet, he of course had to drag Warner Brother TV Studio into this. They were responsible for shutting down production of Two and a Half Men last week but Sheen accused them of profiting wildly from the immensely successful show which Sheen stars in.
Outside of the obvious reasoning that businesses exist to profit wildly from their employees, this isn't really news. Sheen receives in excess of $1.25 million per episode of Two and a Half Men so unless he spending that much on cocaine 24 times each year (that would be ALOT of blow) he is rather handsomely rewarded for his twenty-two minutes of acting each week for approximately half of the year.
But why is this news? Why does it effect me?
It's the ever-present, mind-numbing analysis of nearly every step of those who entertain the masses. It's supposedly news because we like a good trainwreck. It's a twisted way to think of things but plenty of people love to see someone famous self-destruct. Sure, the Dr. Phils of the world are standing by, eager to help the oh-so-troubled stars and starlets because they are so fucking important to the world as a whole. Here's a newsflash -- THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT AT ALL. How many big name stars made a huge impact on our TV-centered culture in the past five decades and just as quickly as they became popular, they faded into obscurity?
Even more important is why do I care? I care because, like so many others, I like to see the undeservingly privileged destroy themselves. Sheen, who seems to live out a sort of autobiography as a sex and booze addicted slacker in coastal southern California on Two and a Half Men, has this coming to him. I'd like nothing more that for his show to fall off the radar. He frolicks around with prostitutes and porn stars yet claims to love his family. He has beaten his wife and girlfriends in the past yet claims to be a family man who loves and provides for them. He is the worst type of hypocrite and while the supporting cast and crew of his CBS sitcom don't deserve the unemployment line, this needs to be the end of Charlie Sheen because the mere mention of his name both infurates and intensely interests me. I hate him because he's not acting, he's just being himself but I love seeing his death spiral.
Of course it all sort of came to a head last week when he called out his show's (Two and a Half Men) creator/producer Chuck Lorre as taking advantage of him. Of course that wasn't enough for the likely crazy and/or coked-up Sheen -- he went on to reveal Chuck Lorre's Hebrew name (in a rather ethnic-clurry kind of way) as Chaim Levine. The jury's still out on whether or not that part's even true but he ventured down the Mel Gibson Expressway with a borderline ethnic slur. And so what if Lorre changed his name for showbiz purposes -- Charlie Sheen's real name is actually Carlos Estevez. But crazy druggie Charlie Sheen wasn't done yet, he of course had to drag Warner Brother TV Studio into this. They were responsible for shutting down production of Two and a Half Men last week but Sheen accused them of profiting wildly from the immensely successful show which Sheen stars in.
Outside of the obvious reasoning that businesses exist to profit wildly from their employees, this isn't really news. Sheen receives in excess of $1.25 million per episode of Two and a Half Men so unless he spending that much on cocaine 24 times each year (that would be ALOT of blow) he is rather handsomely rewarded for his twenty-two minutes of acting each week for approximately half of the year.
But why is this news? Why does it effect me?
It's the ever-present, mind-numbing analysis of nearly every step of those who entertain the masses. It's supposedly news because we like a good trainwreck. It's a twisted way to think of things but plenty of people love to see someone famous self-destruct. Sure, the Dr. Phils of the world are standing by, eager to help the oh-so-troubled stars and starlets because they are so fucking important to the world as a whole. Here's a newsflash -- THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT AT ALL. How many big name stars made a huge impact on our TV-centered culture in the past five decades and just as quickly as they became popular, they faded into obscurity?
Even more important is why do I care? I care because, like so many others, I like to see the undeservingly privileged destroy themselves. Sheen, who seems to live out a sort of autobiography as a sex and booze addicted slacker in coastal southern California on Two and a Half Men, has this coming to him. I'd like nothing more that for his show to fall off the radar. He frolicks around with prostitutes and porn stars yet claims to love his family. He has beaten his wife and girlfriends in the past yet claims to be a family man who loves and provides for them. He is the worst type of hypocrite and while the supporting cast and crew of his CBS sitcom don't deserve the unemployment line, this needs to be the end of Charlie Sheen because the mere mention of his name both infurates and intensely interests me. I hate him because he's not acting, he's just being himself but I love seeing his death spiral.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
How I almost earned a Darwin Award
I spent last Sunday tidying up the outside of my house. It wasn't exactly the way anyone would like to spend their Sunday afternoon but some things just need to be done. Those menial tasks involved transplanting a few perennials, pulling crap from various landscaped areas which were missed last fall and standing on my new extension ladder for nearly two hours as I scrubbed a couple years of accumulated dirt from the upper reaches of the siding of my house.
Not dead yet, I turned my attention to the front yard. There was a branch in one of my Maple trees which had beed dead since we moved in to the house five years ago. Determined to get rid of this eyesore, I grabbed my trusty ten-dollar bow saw and proceeded to saw away at the approximately 8 inch diameter branch. Standing on the next to the top step of my step ladder, this act alone should have earned mea t least consideration for a Darwin Award.
Not satisfied with my own stupidity, I took it a step further. After sawing through approximately 90 percent of the branch's girth, I, with the aide of my old lady watching from the safety of the porch, decided that some sort of makeshift pulley system would be wise. After all, I had seen actual professional tree trimmers do just that - how hard could it be?
Turns out that two tie-downs I bought a while back makes a damn good pulley system. It also turns out that there wasn't enough space in the crotch of that tree to make a relief cut so my saw wouldn't bind up and get stuck before cutting enough.
That's when my old lady yelled for me to tug on the tie-downs and just snap what was remaining of the branch and move on so she could collect my life insurance and go on to really live her life. The tugging on the tie-downs actually worked. What didn't work was the somewhat short overall length of them. Sure, they reached the ground but there wasn't enough length for me to actually lower the branch. So now with the branch snapped free from the tree, I had to hold it via the makeshift pulley system while climbing the extension ladder I had wisely repositioned earlier. It turns out that one additional arm would have been nice but in the end I lived to write this. Sure, my old lady didn't collect on my life insurance policy but spring has barely begun - there will be plenty of additional opportunities for me to off myself.
But hopefully I live to keep finding awesome photos of Minnesota for MinnPics!
Not dead yet, I turned my attention to the front yard. There was a branch in one of my Maple trees which had beed dead since we moved in to the house five years ago. Determined to get rid of this eyesore, I grabbed my trusty ten-dollar bow saw and proceeded to saw away at the approximately 8 inch diameter branch. Standing on the next to the top step of my step ladder, this act alone should have earned mea t least consideration for a Darwin Award.
Not satisfied with my own stupidity, I took it a step further. After sawing through approximately 90 percent of the branch's girth, I, with the aide of my old lady watching from the safety of the porch, decided that some sort of makeshift pulley system would be wise. After all, I had seen actual professional tree trimmers do just that - how hard could it be?
Turns out that two tie-downs I bought a while back makes a damn good pulley system. It also turns out that there wasn't enough space in the crotch of that tree to make a relief cut so my saw wouldn't bind up and get stuck before cutting enough.
That's when my old lady yelled for me to tug on the tie-downs and just snap what was remaining of the branch and move on so she could collect my life insurance and go on to really live her life. The tugging on the tie-downs actually worked. What didn't work was the somewhat short overall length of them. Sure, they reached the ground but there wasn't enough length for me to actually lower the branch. So now with the branch snapped free from the tree, I had to hold it via the makeshift pulley system while climbing the extension ladder I had wisely repositioned earlier. It turns out that one additional arm would have been nice but in the end I lived to write this. Sure, my old lady didn't collect on my life insurance policy but spring has barely begun - there will be plenty of additional opportunities for me to off myself.
But hopefully I live to keep finding awesome photos of Minnesota for MinnPics!
Monday, February 08, 2010
The idiocy of Minnesota's schools
My day began in the small Minnesota River Valley city of LeSueur. Of course I had to drive there to begin with which sucked but driving back to my office in the metro sucked much more than I can even begin to describe here.
I busied myself, trapped behind a three-wide MNDot snowplow assault on U.S. Highway 169 for 20+ miles, by endlessly scanning through the FM radio dial. Stopping at one point, I heard a Mankato FM station (Hot 96.7) rattling off a few school closings. I was on the road heading back to my office between 9 and 10 AM and the majority of these school early releases being aired were before noon.
Assuming that most schools begin between 8 and 9 AM, this boils down to a nice half-day for kids in many parts of outstate Minnesota. The confusing part was that more than a few of these early closings were around 9:30 AM! Yeah, that means that after the wheels on the bus went 'round and 'round on roads that were already fairly shitty, they have to turn around 90 minutes later and slip and slide down barely visible country roads to take the little brats back home.
What the hell changed so much in a mere 90 minutes to change the mind of school administrators in these mainly small towns? Did the near-whiteout conditions become a total whiteout? Did they actually listen to a weather forecast and hear the part about another 6 or so inches of snow falling throughout the day complete with some wind to further fuck up the already sketchy situation?
The point is that these schools get at least some money for bringing the kids in to the buildings for even a partial day. And some money for the day is better than none. But isn't the safety of kids, which these school are entrusted with, the highest priority? Shouldn't safety trump money any day of the week? What happens when someone makes a bad call and sends the kids home too late and a bus rolls over on an icy, unplowed road and all 38 kids die? Wouldn't it have been a better call to keep the kids home if the weather already sucked before sunrise and was predicted to keep getting worse as the day dragged on? And, really, how many schools a mere one county south of the Twin Cities will actually stick it out and keep the kids in class for a full day?
But all of the Winter weather makes for interesting photos at MinnPics. Check out the stunning photos of Minnesota today!
I busied myself, trapped behind a three-wide MNDot snowplow assault on U.S. Highway 169 for 20+ miles, by endlessly scanning through the FM radio dial. Stopping at one point, I heard a Mankato FM station (Hot 96.7) rattling off a few school closings. I was on the road heading back to my office between 9 and 10 AM and the majority of these school early releases being aired were before noon.
Assuming that most schools begin between 8 and 9 AM, this boils down to a nice half-day for kids in many parts of outstate Minnesota. The confusing part was that more than a few of these early closings were around 9:30 AM! Yeah, that means that after the wheels on the bus went 'round and 'round on roads that were already fairly shitty, they have to turn around 90 minutes later and slip and slide down barely visible country roads to take the little brats back home.
What the hell changed so much in a mere 90 minutes to change the mind of school administrators in these mainly small towns? Did the near-whiteout conditions become a total whiteout? Did they actually listen to a weather forecast and hear the part about another 6 or so inches of snow falling throughout the day complete with some wind to further fuck up the already sketchy situation?
The point is that these schools get at least some money for bringing the kids in to the buildings for even a partial day. And some money for the day is better than none. But isn't the safety of kids, which these school are entrusted with, the highest priority? Shouldn't safety trump money any day of the week? What happens when someone makes a bad call and sends the kids home too late and a bus rolls over on an icy, unplowed road and all 38 kids die? Wouldn't it have been a better call to keep the kids home if the weather already sucked before sunrise and was predicted to keep getting worse as the day dragged on? And, really, how many schools a mere one county south of the Twin Cities will actually stick it out and keep the kids in class for a full day?
But all of the Winter weather makes for interesting photos at MinnPics. Check out the stunning photos of Minnesota today!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
We're done as a society - and Tiger Woods is to blame
How worthless are we as Americans when we obviously over-obsess over pop culture? The top news stories locally on Sunday night were the Minnesota Vikings win and the Tiger Woods car crash. I'm sure there was probably something fluffy about how retailers fared over the long shopping weekend as people pissed away a month's salary on a 94" LCD TV for themselves.
A few days later we are still overly obsessed about Tiger Woods. Wow, a sports star nailed a couple of blonde sluts on the side while his old lady was at home with their kid. He got busted. While it won't end his career or even effect any of his huge endorsement deals, it will be remembered. But it's not like he killed somebody. By doing some quick math, I have figured out that 43% of professional athletes eventually have extra-marital affairs. Some get found out, others keep hittin' that every time they visit that particular city. It's just an extrapolation of why half of all marriages end in divorce. I blame breast implants and arguments over who's going to do the dishes.
I wrote this for two reasons: I am sick and damn tired of hearing about Tiger Woods - I get it, he's a phenomenol golfer who totally fucked up and I am blown away at how stupid Americans must be that they have to Google the word "transgressions". The majority of Americans must be 6th grade dropouts or have been raised my a steady diet of Nickelodeon and video games because for "transgressions" to be the second-most searched-for-term is just sad.
As further proof, below is the top 25 Google Trends (current as 3 PM today)
1.tiger woods affair
2.transgressions
3.jaimee grubbs pics
4.kalika moquin pictures
5.jamie grubbs pictures
6.transgressions definition
7.meredith baxter
8.nancy locke
9.tiger woods text messages
10.tiger woods official website
11.tool academy jaimee grubbs
12.standing with hope
13.us weekly tiger woods
14.enneagon
15.mary dell abate
16.family ties
17.nancy locke meredith baxter
18.wtoc
19.tiger woods cheated on wife
20.michelle obama ape
21.chris matthews enemy camp
22.pacquiao vs mayweather
23.tool academy season 1
24.willie martinez fired
25.david birney
And if you're in a clicking mood and are also tired of all things Tiger Woods and Meredith Baxter, check out the fabulous photos at MinnPics.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The great Eggo shortage of 2009 (& 2010?)
Ah shit, we're all screwed. Forget about H1N1, R2D2, AC/DC and every other deadly combination consisting of four characters. The real deal to worry yourself sick about this winter is - wait for it - a shortage of rather bland frozen waffles.
Yes, our country is so dependent on pre-packaged, frozen crap that Kellogg's grand screw-up at a couple manufacturing plants has people in certain locales (the nation's Walmarts) hoarding Eggo frozen waffles - if these poor schmucks can get their hands on those taste-packed yellow boxes.
When I first heard of the supposed Eggo shortage yesterday, I thought it was just hype blown way out of proportion by MPR's Bob Collins simply to get a reaction out of yours truly. Well, it didn't work but then I saw more mention of it today on such reputable news sources as the Southern Illinois Catholic blog and Meck Leck (another blog) so now I'm afraid - very afraid.
What the hell will people eat for breakfast without their ultra-portable toastable Eggo waffles?
Well folks, here's a few ideas. You could have cereal, toaster strudels, Pop Tarts, a banana, an apple, toast, a crepe, pancakes, a croissant, a bagel, a biscuit or a fruit smoothie. See, stop your damn fretting about a shortage of Eggo frozen waffles and if waffles are a staple of your diet, may I suggest ponying up a few bucks and investing in a waffle iron. In the end you'll actually save money and discover a wide world of flavor possibilities. See, it really isn't worth pissing your pants over - they're just waffles...
MinnPics. Check it out if you like photos. Not just any photos but really impressive photos of Minnesota people, places and things.
Yes, our country is so dependent on pre-packaged, frozen crap that Kellogg's grand screw-up at a couple manufacturing plants has people in certain locales (the nation's Walmarts) hoarding Eggo frozen waffles - if these poor schmucks can get their hands on those taste-packed yellow boxes.
When I first heard of the supposed Eggo shortage yesterday, I thought it was just hype blown way out of proportion by MPR's Bob Collins simply to get a reaction out of yours truly. Well, it didn't work but then I saw more mention of it today on such reputable news sources as the Southern Illinois Catholic blog and Meck Leck (another blog) so now I'm afraid - very afraid.
What the hell will people eat for breakfast without their ultra-portable toastable Eggo waffles?
Well folks, here's a few ideas. You could have cereal, toaster strudels, Pop Tarts, a banana, an apple, toast, a crepe, pancakes, a croissant, a bagel, a biscuit or a fruit smoothie. See, stop your damn fretting about a shortage of Eggo frozen waffles and if waffles are a staple of your diet, may I suggest ponying up a few bucks and investing in a waffle iron. In the end you'll actually save money and discover a wide world of flavor possibilities. See, it really isn't worth pissing your pants over - they're just waffles...
MinnPics. Check it out if you like photos. Not just any photos but really impressive photos of Minnesota people, places and things.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sammy Sosa's bleached face and why Minnesota is better
Disgraced former Chicago Cubs slugger and steroid user Sammy Sosa seems to have Michael Jacksonitis. Yep, Sosa's once rather dark skin is moving towards that of a sun-deprived Irishman.
The fact that he's now basically two shades away from an albino leads to a ton of questions. Was Sammy Sosa involved in a bleach accident? Did Sosa vacation at some sort of reverse tanning spa/resort? Is Sammy Sosa trying to distance himself from his own race? Has his own race shunned him to the extent that he has to go find his own race because they don't want him any more?
Or, the more likely question, does his recently lightened pigmentation have something to do with his prolonged use of steroids? That particular reason is one of many which, in the 1990s, lead me to abandon baseball. I used to be a huge baseball (and basketball) fan. I even subscribed to The Sporting News back when it was a weekly newspaper. When it moved towards a magazine I quickly dumped it but the damage had already been done to my favorite sports. The players got greedier and the owners got greedier. Both major league baseball and the NBA had strikes or lockouts which ruined entire seasons.
When the greed of pro sports meant that the World Series was cancelled one year and another year the NBA played a severely shortened season, I was quickly done with it all. Sure, after the turn of the century I was back to going to Minnesota Twins baseball games but it's only because the Minnesota Twins players don't show their greed. They play for much less than they would make with other teams and the Minnesota Twins were mostly absent from baseball's steroid era of the 1990s but this also meant that they were overlooked for about a decade as roided up jackasses like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds broke homerun records year after year while their testicles shriveled to the size of tiny raisins.
And where has all that greed and steroid use gotten those players? They are no longer in the game and many view those 1990s and early 21st century homerun records as false. They are tainted and the game is as well. And douchebags like Sammy Sosa are unemployed and flaunting his freakishly lightened skintone prompting nobodies like me to jump to conclusions, ask questions and remember why I'll only cheer for the Minnesota Twins today.
It's because things are in fact simpler here in Minnesota. That's what makes MinnPics unique too, a few photos about Minnesota each day taken by Minnesotans who love the state. Check it out today.
The fact that he's now basically two shades away from an albino leads to a ton of questions. Was Sammy Sosa involved in a bleach accident? Did Sosa vacation at some sort of reverse tanning spa/resort? Is Sammy Sosa trying to distance himself from his own race? Has his own race shunned him to the extent that he has to go find his own race because they don't want him any more?
Or, the more likely question, does his recently lightened pigmentation have something to do with his prolonged use of steroids? That particular reason is one of many which, in the 1990s, lead me to abandon baseball. I used to be a huge baseball (and basketball) fan. I even subscribed to The Sporting News back when it was a weekly newspaper. When it moved towards a magazine I quickly dumped it but the damage had already been done to my favorite sports. The players got greedier and the owners got greedier. Both major league baseball and the NBA had strikes or lockouts which ruined entire seasons.
When the greed of pro sports meant that the World Series was cancelled one year and another year the NBA played a severely shortened season, I was quickly done with it all. Sure, after the turn of the century I was back to going to Minnesota Twins baseball games but it's only because the Minnesota Twins players don't show their greed. They play for much less than they would make with other teams and the Minnesota Twins were mostly absent from baseball's steroid era of the 1990s but this also meant that they were overlooked for about a decade as roided up jackasses like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds broke homerun records year after year while their testicles shriveled to the size of tiny raisins.
And where has all that greed and steroid use gotten those players? They are no longer in the game and many view those 1990s and early 21st century homerun records as false. They are tainted and the game is as well. And douchebags like Sammy Sosa are unemployed and flaunting his freakishly lightened skintone prompting nobodies like me to jump to conclusions, ask questions and remember why I'll only cheer for the Minnesota Twins today.
It's because things are in fact simpler here in Minnesota. That's what makes MinnPics unique too, a few photos about Minnesota each day taken by Minnesotans who love the state. Check it out today.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wind turbines too controversial?
While some southern Minnesota counties have literally hundreds of wind turbines dotting the corn and soybean-filled landscape, another south-central county has basically banned them. Nicollet County, just outside of Mankato, has just made it nearly impossible (h/t) to build the clean energy-generating windmills.
By requiring a one-half mile setback from any dwelling/residence, Nicollet County has effectively stifled any hopes of wind energy spurring a monetary infusion into the county and it's also crushed the hopes of Gustavus Adolphus whose college campus in the city of St. Peter wanted to erect a wind turbine both as a symbolic measure of their commitment to the environment and as a working model that a large business can make strides to be self-sustained.
Oh, sure, cities use the argument that wind turbines can be an eyesore and are unpleasant to see in a city's skyline. Well, in case most cities haven't noticed - especially in the suburbs - their skylines are defined by water towers and cell phone antennas. Those aren't exactly landmarks when every damn city looks like its neighbor. Maybe these head-up-their-ass elected officials need to look to the future instead of their oh-so-pristine skylines and think about the next generation because if every kilowatt continues to come from coal, the skies could be so dirty that you wouldn't be able to see your water towers and cell phone antennas.
MinnPics is also on board with the majestic coolness of wind turbines dotting Minnesota's farmscapes because they look awesome in photos.
By requiring a one-half mile setback from any dwelling/residence, Nicollet County has effectively stifled any hopes of wind energy spurring a monetary infusion into the county and it's also crushed the hopes of Gustavus Adolphus whose college campus in the city of St. Peter wanted to erect a wind turbine both as a symbolic measure of their commitment to the environment and as a working model that a large business can make strides to be self-sustained.
Oh, sure, cities use the argument that wind turbines can be an eyesore and are unpleasant to see in a city's skyline. Well, in case most cities haven't noticed - especially in the suburbs - their skylines are defined by water towers and cell phone antennas. Those aren't exactly landmarks when every damn city looks like its neighbor. Maybe these head-up-their-ass elected officials need to look to the future instead of their oh-so-pristine skylines and think about the next generation because if every kilowatt continues to come from coal, the skies could be so dirty that you wouldn't be able to see your water towers and cell phone antennas.
MinnPics is also on board with the majestic coolness of wind turbines dotting Minnesota's farmscapes because they look awesome in photos.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Barney Frank Confronts Woman At Townhall Comparing Obama To Hitler
I've stayed away from all things political for quite some time but the health care debate is getting way to heated. Talks of Nazi and socialist themes in it are ridiculous and the screaming protesters full of misinformation do little for their position. Barney Frank, despite his comical voice, makes an excellent point at this particular health care town hall meeting.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
At least it wasn't a donkey punch
"There's no way you can give me a bloody nose."
To anyone of any age, that's a challenge you'd be an idiot to pass on. It's a free pass to ram your fist into a willing victim's nose with the ultimate goal to inflict pain on another person. Of course at five years old the ramifications of this don't really register.
That tale and more are just part of the random and confusing memories of my childhood.
I chalk it up being easily influenced by friends and the bloody nose was no different. The victim in this story was the older brother (yep, older) of my best friend at the time. I don't really recall how we found ourselves in this conversation that could lead nowhere good but it started with the older brother uttering that sentence doubting my strength (and aim).
So I started punching him. Being five years old I am fairly certain that these were not Mike Tyson-like blows but after a few minutes (and probably a rather sore fist) there was blood pouring down this kid's face. Chalk it up to his stupidity (who challenges anyone like that?) and my eagerness to prove myself but the end result as the bus pulled up to the elementary school on Austin's west side was one bloody seven year old and a five year old confused about why he was in trouble. At least the older brother (who was the instigator here) didn't throw me under the proverbial bus on this one.
I know that we both ended up spending the before-school recess sitting in the principal's office for a week and that my parents were "very disappointed" in me. Thus began a couple trends for me. That time spent in the principal's office wasn't the last.
MinnPics is violence-free as I am a reformed guy. Check out the great photography unearthed daily!
To anyone of any age, that's a challenge you'd be an idiot to pass on. It's a free pass to ram your fist into a willing victim's nose with the ultimate goal to inflict pain on another person. Of course at five years old the ramifications of this don't really register.
That tale and more are just part of the random and confusing memories of my childhood.
I chalk it up being easily influenced by friends and the bloody nose was no different. The victim in this story was the older brother (yep, older) of my best friend at the time. I don't really recall how we found ourselves in this conversation that could lead nowhere good but it started with the older brother uttering that sentence doubting my strength (and aim).
So I started punching him. Being five years old I am fairly certain that these were not Mike Tyson-like blows but after a few minutes (and probably a rather sore fist) there was blood pouring down this kid's face. Chalk it up to his stupidity (who challenges anyone like that?) and my eagerness to prove myself but the end result as the bus pulled up to the elementary school on Austin's west side was one bloody seven year old and a five year old confused about why he was in trouble. At least the older brother (who was the instigator here) didn't throw me under the proverbial bus on this one.
I know that we both ended up spending the before-school recess sitting in the principal's office for a week and that my parents were "very disappointed" in me. Thus began a couple trends for me. That time spent in the principal's office wasn't the last.
MinnPics is violence-free as I am a reformed guy. Check out the great photography unearthed daily!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Distracted driving: dangerous or not?
There is an epidemic in this country. People do alot of stupid crap while driving. This list is dangerous things to eat while driving.
Coffee
Hot soup
Tacos
Chili dogs
Hamburgers
Ribs and wings
Fried chicken
Jelly donuts
Soda
Chocolate
Out of that list, I've taken part in consuming tacos, hamburgers, fried chicken, jelly donuts, soda and chocolate while driving. I'm preplexed about why anyone would ever eat ribs and wings while driving. Coffee is fairly common but chili dogs are straight up messy and pose the risk of spilling the chili or dog in your lap. And eating some hot soup could be tragic if it was in a bowl but less tragic if it were in a cup.
Outside of eating/drinking while driving, there are other activities that I've done while driving that I probably shouldn't have done that could have caused some serious bodily harm to myself or others.
Changing my shirt on the freeway
Taking off jeans and putting on shorts
Changing my shoes
Endorsing checks
Getting to know a lady better (draw your own conclusion)
Undressing a passenger
Munching down some Arby's chicken fingers complete with BBQ sauce
Cleaning the inside of my windshield
Tucking in my shirt
I'm sure there are others but I'm curious what you worst moments were while driving. Have you ever started knitting a sweater or trimmed up your private bits?
MinnPics is a great habit. Althought I wouldn't check it out on your iPhone while driving.
Coffee
Hot soup
Tacos
Chili dogs
Hamburgers
Ribs and wings
Fried chicken
Jelly donuts
Soda
Chocolate
Out of that list, I've taken part in consuming tacos, hamburgers, fried chicken, jelly donuts, soda and chocolate while driving. I'm preplexed about why anyone would ever eat ribs and wings while driving. Coffee is fairly common but chili dogs are straight up messy and pose the risk of spilling the chili or dog in your lap. And eating some hot soup could be tragic if it was in a bowl but less tragic if it were in a cup.
Outside of eating/drinking while driving, there are other activities that I've done while driving that I probably shouldn't have done that could have caused some serious bodily harm to myself or others.
Changing my shirt on the freeway
Taking off jeans and putting on shorts
Changing my shoes
Endorsing checks
Getting to know a lady better (draw your own conclusion)
Undressing a passenger
Munching down some Arby's chicken fingers complete with BBQ sauce
Cleaning the inside of my windshield
Tucking in my shirt
I'm sure there are others but I'm curious what you worst moments were while driving. Have you ever started knitting a sweater or trimmed up your private bits?
MinnPics is a great habit. Althought I wouldn't check it out on your iPhone while driving.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Looks vs. Personality
Lately, it seems like everyone has at least mentioned the likes of Kate Gosselin and Heidi Montag. The whole "reality" genre of television is what I think has contributed to the ruining of scripted television as a whole. I loathe the genre and everything about it. I hate how it thrusts everyday people who are totally unaware of what happens when fame strikes into the limelight. It ruins their lives but often gives them gobs of cash - a truly double-edged sword.
But the real topic here is looks versus personality. In a conversation yesterday it was decided that someone should do a graph depicting the mix of the two, the ideal/typical median and a scientific sampling of a handful of female "celebrities".
I chose Roseanne, Tyra Banks, Oprah Winfrey, Kate Gosselin, Tyra Banks, Megan Fox and Heidi Montag in my scientific graph. Look at those results and remember the red line is the median. WHere would some other celebrities land? Where would you land? Me? I'd be squarely in the lower left hand corner.
Celebrity-free is the way MinnPics is. It focuses on great photography in Minnesota and you should really take a gander.
But the real topic here is looks versus personality. In a conversation yesterday it was decided that someone should do a graph depicting the mix of the two, the ideal/typical median and a scientific sampling of a handful of female "celebrities".
I chose Roseanne, Tyra Banks, Oprah Winfrey, Kate Gosselin, Tyra Banks, Megan Fox and Heidi Montag in my scientific graph. Look at those results and remember the red line is the median. WHere would some other celebrities land? Where would you land? Me? I'd be squarely in the lower left hand corner.
Celebrity-free is the way MinnPics is. It focuses on great photography in Minnesota and you should really take a gander.Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The stupidity of beauty pageants
Is she really as stupid as she seemed? Does Miss California give beauty pageants (yes, Miss USA is a beauty, not scholarship, pageant) a bad name. Does she give the USA a bad name as she could have been the U.S. representative in the pageant nobody watches - the Miss Universe pageant.
It's for reasons like this that I hate pageants. These women/girls/brain-dead bimbos lack basic conversational skills that will eventually lead them down a road to acting in b-movies or cheap porn. And on that note, who the hell buys porn any more? Isn't that why the internet was invented? Communicating and sharing knowledge was just sort of an accident.
Oh well, at least the whole topic of gay marriage has given Perez Hilton a second fifteen minutes of undeserved fame.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
St. Cloud afraid of wind turbines
After battling through rules and regulations for four long years, a St. Cloud, Minnesota property owner finally has approval to build his own wind turbine. It benefits not only his own electric bill but the rest of the electric grid as his turbine would produce just shy of 39.5kw of energy.
However, the opposition he faced would be enough to make an interested person wonder whether or not all the hassle is worth it. The biggest hurdle was people complaining about the 120 foot tall turbine obstructing their view. Their view of what? The story did little to elaborate on that aspect but in rural areas of Minnesota the "view" consists mainly of corn fields and trees. And there are ways of not being obstructed by a white metal pole a couple feet in diameter. For instance, moving to one side of the turbine's pole would return you to a supposedly unobstructed view of whatever it is you are attempting to peer at.
These petty obstructionists are the very reason this country will have one hell of a hard time moving forward. We are stuck in neutral because people are afraid of change. It's why the Digital Television (DTV) transition date was postponed. It's why we burn billions of gallons of oil per year. It's why you need a permit to add a damn light switch. Wake up, dolts, we have millions of gawdy cell phone towers that offer up endless convenience so why choose to bitch about a wind turbine?
MinnPics actually finds photos of wind turbines appealing, check it out today.
However, the opposition he faced would be enough to make an interested person wonder whether or not all the hassle is worth it. The biggest hurdle was people complaining about the 120 foot tall turbine obstructing their view. Their view of what? The story did little to elaborate on that aspect but in rural areas of Minnesota the "view" consists mainly of corn fields and trees. And there are ways of not being obstructed by a white metal pole a couple feet in diameter. For instance, moving to one side of the turbine's pole would return you to a supposedly unobstructed view of whatever it is you are attempting to peer at.
These petty obstructionists are the very reason this country will have one hell of a hard time moving forward. We are stuck in neutral because people are afraid of change. It's why the Digital Television (DTV) transition date was postponed. It's why we burn billions of gallons of oil per year. It's why you need a permit to add a damn light switch. Wake up, dolts, we have millions of gawdy cell phone towers that offer up endless convenience so why choose to bitch about a wind turbine?
MinnPics actually finds photos of wind turbines appealing, check it out today.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Dad at 13
When mom is fifteen years old and dad is thirteen, there's a problem. Even more troubling is the fact that dad looks like a proud eight year old peering at his new baby sister.These British teens, the babyfaced dad Alfie Patten and his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman, are now parents of 7lb. 3 oz. Maisie Roxanne. This is the perfect example of what can happen when kids aren't made aware of what can happen if they are stupid enough to have unprotected sex. But that's exactly what they did, and only once, when the now dad was only 12 years old.
To me, this sounds like an American trailer park tale and from the description of the families involved, they may be of the lower rung of British society.
This quote, from daddy Alfie's father, sort of sums it all up...
“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”These kids have now essentially thrown their lives away and it's not because of values-free sex education. The fault here seems to lie squarely with the parents who, one admitted, hadn't had "the talk" with his son and if a fifteen year-old girl doesn't know what can happen when you place tab 'A' into slot 'B' is as close to being a total idiot as one may come.
Kids this age should be rebelling against their parents by staying out late and listening to weird music, playing video games and having fun. However, in our fucked up world, sex happens at a younger and younger age so parents need to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that if your eleven year old daughter is developing breasts, other things are happening too. The same goes for young males. Lay it all out on the table at ten years old. It's going to be awkward for everyone involved but at least you've done your part. Forbidding sex won't work either because forbidden fruit is also the sweetest. Explain what can happen when unprotected sex happens. Explain what protected sex is and how it works. It won't be a simple ten minute conversation but at least the likelihood of your twelve year old son knocking boots and becoming a daddy who doesn't even need to shave is lessened.
Remember, don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
MinnPics is sane and safe and family-friendly. Check out the best photos of the people, places and times in Minnesota now!
Sunday, February 08, 2009
If you don't get it, you're stupid
Digital TV seems to be as impossible to understand for some as finding the clitoris on a woman. Understanding the much-hyped digital TV transition has the stuffed suits who supposedly run the country so worried that they shit-canned the February 17 shut-off date (just under two weeks away) because Americans are idiots.
I guess that the millions of supposedly unprepared citizens missed the barrage of commercials implorng viewers to visit the website or call the toll-free number for answers. Or they can't figure the damn process out because technology scares them. Here's a suggestion: ask for help. Ask your children, ask your neighbor, ask your priest, ask the kid down the street.
It's rather straight-forward but fearing a true revolution with protests in the streets and an overthrow of the government, the pussies in Washington tucked their tails between their legs and catered to the mindless, mouth-breathing masses and allowed them to delay their ignorance about digital TV another four months - this time until June 12.
All this does is delay the inevitable. The American public are a bunch of procrastinators. We pay our bills late or two minutes before midnight on the due date. We can't figure out that lines at stores on the weekend before Christmas will be long . We file our taxes on April 15 and choose to wait in long lines at the post office because we love delaying the inevitable.
I, for one, can't wait to see the dumbfounded look on every slack-jawed cousin-fucker in trailerparks across America when they wake up at 11 AM on June 13 and find nothing but snow on their televisions. Ah, vindication is a sweet dessert.
I guess that the millions of supposedly unprepared citizens missed the barrage of commercials implorng viewers to visit the website or call the toll-free number for answers. Or they can't figure the damn process out because technology scares them. Here's a suggestion: ask for help. Ask your children, ask your neighbor, ask your priest, ask the kid down the street.
It's rather straight-forward but fearing a true revolution with protests in the streets and an overthrow of the government, the pussies in Washington tucked their tails between their legs and catered to the mindless, mouth-breathing masses and allowed them to delay their ignorance about digital TV another four months - this time until June 12.
All this does is delay the inevitable. The American public are a bunch of procrastinators. We pay our bills late or two minutes before midnight on the due date. We can't figure out that lines at stores on the weekend before Christmas will be long . We file our taxes on April 15 and choose to wait in long lines at the post office because we love delaying the inevitable.
I, for one, can't wait to see the dumbfounded look on every slack-jawed cousin-fucker in trailerparks across America when they wake up at 11 AM on June 13 and find nothing but snow on their televisions. Ah, vindication is a sweet dessert.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Crazy octuplet mom to sell story for $2 million
One thng both sticking in my craw (ouch) and dominating the news as of late is that crazy bitch in California who gave birth to octuplets. It seemed like a touching story. At first. Then came the information about her already having six kids. Six plus eights equals fourteen; if you're counting.
Then the fact that this woman (Nadya Suleman) wanted to keep her identity secret. It seemed suspicious. But wait a couple days and some dumbass magazine is willing pony up $2 million for the exclusive rights to her story.
Well, I'll save you the hassle of dropping $3.50 for a copy of People and spoil the story. This divorced mother of six now living with her parents because of bankruptcy is also characterized as mentally unstable. Even her mother characterized her as "obsessed with children".
The real problem here is that modern medicine allower her to receive fertility treatments even though she had no present fertility problems. Did those treatments include a sperm donor or did this crazy woman find some random guy to sex her up old school style too in an effort to complete her bizarre plan?
I, for one, can't wait to support her little army of kids via my tax dollars because she is "obsessed with children". Someone needs to physically remove her uterus before she spawns any more kids to further satisfy her obsession.
On a kinder and more sane note, MinnPics is home to great photography and devoid of any obsessions, except bacon.
Then the fact that this woman (Nadya Suleman) wanted to keep her identity secret. It seemed suspicious. But wait a couple days and some dumbass magazine is willing pony up $2 million for the exclusive rights to her story.
Well, I'll save you the hassle of dropping $3.50 for a copy of People and spoil the story. This divorced mother of six now living with her parents because of bankruptcy is also characterized as mentally unstable. Even her mother characterized her as "obsessed with children".
The real problem here is that modern medicine allower her to receive fertility treatments even though she had no present fertility problems. Did those treatments include a sperm donor or did this crazy woman find some random guy to sex her up old school style too in an effort to complete her bizarre plan?
I, for one, can't wait to support her little army of kids via my tax dollars because she is "obsessed with children". Someone needs to physically remove her uterus before she spawns any more kids to further satisfy her obsession.
On a kinder and more sane note, MinnPics is home to great photography and devoid of any obsessions, except bacon.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Is McDonald's catering to the stupids?
Here is a fairly decent analysis of McDonald's McCafe commercials. You know them, the guys discussing how they are only wearing glasses to be smart and the one still airing with women admitting that they like watching reality TV and one not knowing where the fuck Paraguay is (hint: it's next to Uruguay).
Watch them. I'll wait.
Done? Good.
Alright.
To the casual observer, they seem fairly straight-forward. Drink our fancy coffee because we cater to the everyday American with our everyday prices. Then watch them, particularly the one with the women, and it does start to become overtly offensive. And not just to women.
Apparently, McDonald's wants to further the stereotype that being smart is a bad thing and that being dumb as a fencepost is very American. On the other hand, being smart doesn't mean that you have to listen to jazz and give up wearing heels. Fuck you McDonald's, your food makes my clothes stink and makes my car smell like a garbage can. Factor in that I don't even like coffee and that you have made America a bunch of sloppy fatties and you single-handedly belong inside every damn Wal-Mart store in this crumbling country.
Merry Christmas and enjoy your McDonald's gift cards!
Watch them. I'll wait.
Done? Good.
Alright.
To the casual observer, they seem fairly straight-forward. Drink our fancy coffee because we cater to the everyday American with our everyday prices. Then watch them, particularly the one with the women, and it does start to become overtly offensive. And not just to women.
Apparently, McDonald's wants to further the stereotype that being smart is a bad thing and that being dumb as a fencepost is very American. On the other hand, being smart doesn't mean that you have to listen to jazz and give up wearing heels. Fuck you McDonald's, your food makes my clothes stink and makes my car smell like a garbage can. Factor in that I don't even like coffee and that you have made America a bunch of sloppy fatties and you single-handedly belong inside every damn Wal-Mart store in this crumbling country.
Merry Christmas and enjoy your McDonald's gift cards!
Friday, September 26, 2008
MTV DOA w/o TRL
If you haven't heard yet, MTV is canning its final bastion of music seen in the daytime hours. For ten years, Total Request Live (TRL) was viewed by "musicians" as a launching pad for the million-plus selling CDs -- and that was just in the first weke of release. It was a show that brought us a wheelbarrow full of boybands and the much-maligned late-90s bubblegum pop of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and a host of others who are now pitching "reality" shows to MTV and VH1.The other thing which MTV's TRL did was give the vapid she-shores and man-whores of the "music" world a platform to show the zit-faced adolescnets of America how mentally retarded they are. Without TRL, how will celebrities/"entertainers" pimp their whorishness?
In all actuality, TRL did little for the music world. Sure, it tapped in to what music school-age teens were listening to but what is viewed as popular by one person is viewed as the bottom of the barrel crap by another. Thus, popular is losing its shine and becoming harder to cast a wide net to draw in an audience. Popular, as a phrase, isn't even popular. Think about websites. Think about TV channels. There's something out there for every damn interest, sub-interest, fetish and genre and the same goes for music.
Sure, TRL was still a great way for artists to grab some major on-screen time but that only matters if the people watching are actually interested in music. The caveat there is that MTV hasn't been the place for music videos since TRL began. TRL could easily be blamed for making MTV into the vast reality wasteland that it is today because while it focused on music, it usually showed only snippets of videos and instead focused on the celebrity aspect of the musicians and interviewed them.
Will most notice when TRL vanishes in November and is replaced by repeats of "My Super Sweet 16"? I tend to think that while MTV has vanquished music now entirely from its programming, it still needs to program music because as a cable channel it is drifting dangerously towards sameness with a whole host of other cable outlets and the edginess of music is what differentiated the channel in the past. Without music at its core, it's only a matter of time before it's overtaken by a channel like Nickelodeon or Disney.
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