Bikini Hockey League

To all of the NHL fans out there who are dreading the possibility of an NHL lockout this year which could doom the entire 2012-13 professional hockey season the two videos below should put you at ease somewhat because not all professional hockey will vanish this upcoming winter. Not even close. There's still the BHL - yep, the Bikini Hockey League. Bikini-clad women on skates taking to hockey rinks across the country. It should be at least as entertaining as the NHL usually is and will likely be as competitive and interesting to watch as the Lingerie Football League.

Jennifer Lawrence - shear dress

 

Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence, shown above, looks 100% stunning in a form-fitting grey dress as she makes an appearance on a talk show. Upon further inspection, though, I did notice that her nipples are at least somewhat visible through the mildly shear fabric on the upper portion of this classy dress.

Kat Dennings and her cleavage at the Emmy Awards

Kat Dennings, busty star of the comedy 2 Broke Girls on CBS, showed up at yesterday's Emmy Awards in Los Angeles wearing an elegant dark red strapless dress that worked quite well in showing off the young stars stunning cleavage but still did so in a classy way. The season premiere of the second season of 2 Broke Girls bows at 8 PM C/T tonight on CBS.

Kim Kardashian camel toe

I am not a fan of the Kardashian clan but I will say that Kim Kardashian has a smoking hot body. Factor in Kim Kardashian's display of camel toe in this photo and you have a winning combination. Why, though, is camel toe in some celebrities so easy to spot? I suspect it's a two-fold problem. The first being that they are obviously wearing pants which are far too tight in the crotchal region. The second contributing factor to celebrity camel toe is, and this is only a hypothesis, that the region in question has... oh, hell, I'm not even going to say it because it would be too vulgar even for this website.

Without further ado, here is the promised Kim Kardashian camel toe picture.

Kim Kardashian showing off her sexy curves, cleavage and a bit of camel toe.

Lovely ladies of the Minnesota Renaissance Festival

People-watching at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival is always one of the best parts of the journey to the festival grounds southwest of Minneapolis. The photo gallery below of cleavage-bearing busty ladies of the 2012 Minnesota Renaissance Festival's first weekend

Sadly no photos of belly dancers shaking and shimmying their hips with their chests swaying as well. Hey, I have to save something for next time.

London Olympics - dripping with sexy women

Russian longjumper Darya Klishina qualifies as sexy. So does Italian Olympic volleyball player Francesca Piccinini. American beach volleyballer Jen Kessy does too.

Blonde Russian longjumper Darya Klishina is getting plenty of attention during the 2012 London Olympics as one of the sexy athletes showing off her beauty and athletic prowess.

Italian volleyballer Francesca Piccinini posed nude in a 2004 calendar published by the Italian version of Men's Health magazine.

American beach volleyball player Jen Kessy is definitely one to watch as she rocks the fashionable tiny bikini in London this summer.

Leryn Franco of Paraguay was the runner-up for Miss Universe in Paraguay in 2006.

Australian mountain biker Niki Gudex is also is a model and graphic designer.

Check out a whole plethora of both nipples from the Olympics and Olympic camel toe and just downright hot and sexy Olympic photos as the London Summer Olympic games go on.

Lindsey Vonn's ass looks yummy

It's not ever day that a local girl makes the cover of Sports Illustrated but U.S. Olympic ski-team member Lindsey Vonn from right here in the Twin Cities has done just that. And she's garnered plenty of attention -- and controversy -- for looking damn fine in the process.

Now to a casual magazine reader, you'd think that it's just another magazine with an athlete featured on the cover. But with a rather rabid blogosphere eager to analyze every photo of anyone even mildly famous, it was only a matter of time before everyone with far too much time on their hands picked apart the soon-to-be-infamous Lindsey Vonn Sports Illustrated cover photo.

Now being that I'm a red-blooded American guy, I think she looks hot as hell. Being that she is basically a professional athlete, she has an incredibly toned body. She could probably kick my ass and, you know what, I'd let her. For one, it's not cool to beat up on a woman but secondly, she's a knockout and that pose was done intentionally.

Yeah, I know it's a typical skiing pose for downhill skiing but she isn't moving. There's no illusion of motion in that photo. She's just made to look like she's screaming down a snow-covered slope somewhere. And then there's the positioning of her rather taught rear end over the magazine's masthead. That's just another intentional move for a magazine geared at guys.

I could go on and on about the obvious layering of photos - one for the mountainous background, likely one for the setting sun and cloudy sky and a heavily airbrushed Lindsey Vonn. Nobody gets that dolled up to take a run down a ski slope and while I know that this was a photo shoot, the level of digital altering is bordering on ridiculous.

But in the end it's sex that sells. It sells everything and while I wouldn't buy Sports Illustrated just because Lindsey Vonn and her awesome ass graces the cover, millions of other guys would and while I criticize moves like this solely to sell a magazine, my job is much the same so I'll shut up now and do the right thing - drool over the curves and protruding, smackable ass of Lindsey Vonn.

If you feel dirty for reading this, check out the classy photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.

A letter to myself in 1997

What would you write, in letter form, to yourself in the year you graduated high school? Would you tell yourself to totally change your course? Would you advise taking a year off from life and travel and explore the world? Would you tell yourself to chase more tail or to keep it in your pants? What the hell would I tell myself to do?

Dear 18 year-old me,

I know you're starting college this fall and that's a good thing. I also know that you're not going to get much in the way of a meaningful degree. Stay in college longer. There's no shame in sticking around for five or six years - it's a good time and the education and degree you get out of it will actually offset the tremendous amount of debt you'll incur. Oh, and you might want to expand your educational horizons a bit as well. I know you're set on being a graphic designer and websites which you see as cool but boring in their design will change drastically in the next twelve years.

It's fine that you want to get a degree in graphic design but have a fallback plan - learn as much as you can about websites - design, language, etc. because by 2007 you'll realize that shit's gonna hit the fan and your dream of making it really, really big in print graphic design will be just a dream.

Secondly, don't be apprehensive about leaving the area you already know. Move, travel, lighten the fuck up. That one friend who opened your mind to all of that cool music was a great first step. Be sure to keep in touch with her. That's one of those friendships you'll still have when you're fumbling with your dentures.

And that friend with cool tastes in music, she's going to be totally right about that girl, who in a year, will want to date you. Sure she's totally fun and wild but she's also crazy and not in a good way. Oh, she's also pregnant. You won't see that one coming.

Moving on now. Immerse yourself in something and dream big. No, bigger.

Finally, don't be a dumbass. I know you'll do some pretty stupid shit in your early twenties. Enjoy it but you're gonna come close to actually offing yourself because of your stupidity. Oh, sure, you'll laugh about it later but that's only because your friends were there to save your stupid ass from almost certain death or at least very, very painful injuries.

In the end, thing turn out alright. At 30 years old you own a house, you're married, you own a couple of Toyotas and a swingset you built. Oh, and you have a kid. She's pretty damn cute, too. Sure, you still want more but the things you want are only to further challenge yourself so that's a good thing. But that idea you have at thirty of eventually owning an apple orchard, I'll just tell 18 year-old me (you) to remember that the apple business is rather crowded and way too damn competitive to be worth the trouble.

Speaking of apples, MinnPics will probably have some orchard photos as fall kicks in to gear.

One celeb to stab me, one to cuddle

The quote of the day:

Getting sexily stabbed by Megan Fox every now and then in exchange for seeing her naked all the time seems like a good deal. She could dip the knife in cobra venom, lemon juice and syphilis, then jam it in my leg and wiggle it back and forth and I’d still probably cum in my pants.

from h/t

I can honestly say that I've never once suggested to someone that they could stab me but there are those rare occasions when one's sexiness trump their bitchiness and craziness and Megan Fox, who stars in the Diablo Cody-written Jennifer's Body which opens tomorrow, is that rare exception.

Wow, the things I'd let her do. She's crazy sexy which is different from my classification of Zooey Deschanel who is cute and quirky sexy.

And now that pics of Zooey and Megan have you in a looking mood, check out the photos at MinnPics. Always nice eyecandy.

Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite?

I hate celebrities but this one is just too crazy not to mention: Apparently the odd pop singer famous for her stupid statements and bizarre costumes has admitted that she is a hermaphrodite. Yes, the pop singer who burst on to the scene in the past year is supposedly the proud owner of both male and female genitalia. And there's proof via a video from England's Glastonbury Festival.

“The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me. Like come on. It’s not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal.”

That quote is as least suspicious due to the fact that it has no origin and what good is a quote if it can't be sourced to the person who supposedly said it?

In my opinion, I have to say that the freeze-frame of the video is very convincing but she must be one hell of a tuck artist if it's true because after seeing her photo shoot from Rolling Stone I did not see a bulge of any sort. On the other hand, if Lady Gaga is the owner of a penis it would at least begin to explain just how weird she is - not that a chick with a penis is destined to be weird but Gaga is extraordinarily weird. Whatever the case is, Lady Gaga doesn't deserve all of this attention. She is too weird and stupid to justify even rumors about her. I just wish she'd shut the hell up and go away.

UPDATE: Being that the subject of Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite just won't go away, I did some more investigating in search of a crotch shot and, well, it seems that the bulge in the crotch of her leotard isn't a raging case of camel toe...
At least MinnPics doesn't traffic in celebrities, rumors or any combination of the two. Check out the killer photos now!

The stupidity of beauty pageants

Is she really as stupid as she seemed? Does Miss California give beauty pageants (yes, Miss USA is a beauty, not scholarship, pageant) a bad name. Does she give the USA a bad name as she could have been the U.S. representative in the pageant nobody watches - the Miss Universe pageant.

It's for reasons like this that I hate pageants. These women/girls/brain-dead bimbos lack basic conversational skills that will eventually lead them down a road to acting in b-movies or cheap porn. And on that note, who the hell buys porn any more? Isn't that why the internet was invented? Communicating and sharing knowledge was just sort of an accident.

Oh well, at least the whole topic of gay marriage has given Perez Hilton a second fifteen minutes of undeserved fame.

Quote of the day

Yesterday my old lady returned home from work with a great story to share. She shared the world's most perfect quote with me that she had overheard earlier in the day...

There was a car of hoes. I mean fine-ass bitches.

5,000 points go to the person who can correctly nail down some details about the two persons who were discussing the topic of the day.

And while you're at it, check out MinnPics. Great photos tell great stories and Minnesota is full of them!

Interesting website idea #318

Everyone these days has some sort of social network. I've seen radio station do quite well with the concept then pull it due to the costs. David Hasselhoff has HoffSpace. Teens and bands seem to congregate on MySpace so the next logical step was a place for ladies.

Not just any ladies, ladies who are more, um, open sexually. No, not whores, so to speak, but sluts. You know the type. Their skirt is too short, their tube top is too tight, they have completely skipped wearing a bra and they frequently stumble in to the office wearing exactly what they were wearing yesterday with their hair looking like a family of raccoons had taken up residence in it and she smells like a combination of cheap perfume, stale cigarette smoke and guilt. Yes, the Sluttus Americanus, or slut. The slut is no different than you or I. They have social networking needs too. They need to know which guy slips roofies in drinks. They need to share scantily clad photos of themselves. They need to network with fellow sluts to find out which guys say "But baby, it just feels better without a condom".

I proudly present you with the foundation for mysluts.com. After all, what is a website without a catchy logo that looks strangely like that of another website?


MinnPics needs your attention. Check out all the purty photos that are taken all over the great state of Minnesota.

Happiness is... a size 14?

It used to be said that blondes had all the fun. Now it's true that size 14 (which is a 10 or 12 in American sizes) ladies are the happiest and, in turn, must have all the fun. Think about it for a minute. A lady who is a size 10 or 12 can actually enjoy a meal. She isn't confined to having only a salad for lunch. And guys, when you wrap your arms around a size 10 or 12 lady, she doesn't feel like a damn skeleton. There's no sharp objects protruding from her that could mark you with bruises. There's no chance that one of her protruding ribs could puncture your lung.

Then there's the loving. Imagine a life where your hips aren't constantly bruised and jabbed. You don't have to worry about smashing the life out of the poor lady because she's not a damn feather. She has curves and let me just say that curves are good. To all you size 10 or 12 ladies, you are happy and you are actually average. You've got some junk in the trunk and it works because saggy-assed jeans are not a good look. Remember this, when you're eating that tasty piece of chocolate mint ice cream cake, you won't be running to the ladies' room in 15 minutes to puke it up.

Sympathy hemorrhoids

The clock is ticking. We are down to two months and counting in the baby lottery. With only two months remaining, that means that the missus is uncomfortable. She's feeling the baby's hiccups. She's feeling and sometimes seeing movement. It also means that a good husband feels at least some sympathy towards her discomfort.

Sure, I rub her mangled back from time to time and make supper one or two extra times per week outside my allotted number of times (we alternate cooking every other meal). I grab her a glass of lemonade if I'm roaming through the house. I even do most of the laundry.

But there are some pains I don't understand and can't fix. I can still crack my old lady's back but with areas protruding, belly down on the floor isn't exactly an option. I'm sure, too, that with increased growth in the belly area, things will reposition themselves. That's where the hemorrhoids come in.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she sends me off to the nearest drug store in search of an ass donut. That won't be an embarrassing quest at all.

"Can I help you find something?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for an ass donut. Do you have anything in blue?"

The thing is, I'm one step ahead there. No, I haven't taken an pre-emptive strike and purchased a blue ass donut. Maybe it was from eating a 3 lb. block of cheese in a mere 36 hours. Maybe all that whole grain bread got its revenge on me. Maybe a constant diet of red meat isn't the wisest decision.

Whatever the cause, the result was pre-emptive sympathy hemorrhoids.

Yes women of the world, I know your pain.

From pain, though, comes pleasure and pleasure comes from MinnPics. It's chock full of grea tphotos from around Minnesota and it's updated daily!